Painting melancholy -- two haiku

Timmy here for a review!!

This might be really quick, since poetry isn't really my strongpoint, but I will try my hardest!

Ok, so i thought these were amazing...

Dead words fill my bones. Its like you have something in you, but its dead... The words are empty. And then the next part, where you say Lament these faded pages, just tags right along! So these pages aren't just dead, they are faded... Wow. you certainly know how to cheer someone up. Of course, the next part, Succumb to dust just maintains that idea. Succumbing to it, so like giving in to it? Relenting? Wow, that is really awesome.

I have no nitpicks on the first one...

Onto the second, though!

I this one speaks about bravery... The curtains shiver. Oh, no! Monsters! Winter lisps into my room... Now this makes me think like a coldness coming into you. And your room is like yourself in this case. Correct me if I am wrong... Then the second one really says it... Piercing hollow hearts. That makes me think of bravery and that whoever this is, they are a coward. Hollow hearts mean one without bravery. Devoid of courage. At least, that is what is says to me...

I know this wasn't much of a review, but with awesome works like this one, there isn't much I can do! Great job on this!! For your first haiku, you have done an incredible job!
~Timmyjake

Greetings!
O.k. I always find Haiku difficult to review because they are so short, so give me a little lea-way.
"Dead words fill my bones;"
Great way to start, with symbolism, who cares if I don't understand it. I would recommend changing the semi-colon to a colon or full stop.
"Lament these faded pages"
This line just sounds awesome. So there.
"And succumb to dust."
So Richard the second. Lovely line.
"The curtains shiver;"
Again I would recommend replacing the semi colon.
"Winter lisps into my room,
Piercing hollow hearts."
Lisp is an amazing adjective here.
To be fair, I didn't actually understand it,but knowing you and having read Pineapple Precipice I am not at all surprised by that.
Take That You Fiend!
(p.s. aren't Zolen's avatars awesome?!?)

Back again! Big fan of your style.

For your first go at haikus, this was superb. The poem would function just as well without the five-seven-five pattern—although the pattern did help weave music through your words. An honest critique would require every ounce of my analytical skills.

What's my favorite line? Now, that's one of the most difficult questions I've faced today. All are beautiful—in the most delicately obvious, glaringly subtle way. Oh, there I go with my unintentional rhyming.

And all of the words flow, like rivers into one sea of awesomeness.

Okay, I finally decided on my favorite line:

succumb to dust.

Dead words fill my bones

The curtains shiver;