I stared at the white paper,
Red marks strewn all across it.
Letters, numbers, and the crimson colored ink
My teacher uses each time she grades our papers.
One look at the circled percentage,
And my eyes begin to water.
I lay my head down on the cold, wooden desk,
Until I hear a soft voice whispering in my ear:
“Snape. Snape. Severus Snape.
Snape. Snape. Severus Snape.”
Cheerful blue eyes gaze into mine,
And I can’t help but join in.
“Dumbledore!”
Laughter bubbling from my lips,
We proceed to sing our song.
I slide the test paper into the flaps of my binder,
Too busy giggling to care about the nasty grade.
I remember how my heart soared that day,
Knowing that with you by my side
Not even the world could defeat us.
I hope I’m not asking much, but…
If you’ll be my Harry Potter, just know,
I’ll always be your Ginny.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,732 Reviews
Hi, Tigerlilly37! Mage here to do the promised review! So let's get to it, shall we?
When I saw the name of the poem, the fangirl part of me started dying. Which meant I was completely dead because I am completely a fangirl.
Bad "humor" that probably didn't make you laugh aside, I am hopelessly in love with this poem. I wasn't able to find any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, and none of the piece seemed choppy or out of place.
It's a cute poem that centers on fandom romance. I love how the only sad part of the poem is the beginning when the bad grade is received; a feeling most readers know all too well. You ended it in a way that tied it up perfectly. Those last two lines are definitely favorite parts of the piece.
Keep up the awesome work - which I doubt you'll have trouble with - and good luck on your writing endeavors! Have a great day/night!
Thank you so much!
You're welcome!
Ginny Weasley is obnoxious and should've been executed at the start of her fourth year.
Hello! Ripple here.
First of all, I absolutely loved this. I am also a huge Harry Potter fan, and this was fairly well-written. I do have a few nitpicks, but this was just an amazing piece.
I think the capitalization is fine. Capitalization is rather flexible when it comes to poetry, and since you consistently capitalize each line, it's fine that it doesn't match up with what it would be in prose.
There are only a few instances where the wording is kinda awkward. The first one I noticed was the title. Including Ginny's last name just feels overly formal, especially compared to the tone of the poem itself. I think it would sound a lot cleaner without the surname.
I have to agree that the second line here sounds odd. "That" seems slightly unnecessary, and you could try using a more vivid verb in place of "uses." Alternatively, you could just try to rewrite the line, play around with it, and find something that sounds better to you.
I love how you connect it back to Harry Potter, but this sounds just slightly off. Maybe it's the last names again, or the small filler phrases, ("just know," "always") I'm not sure, but it could use a bit of rewording.
Overall, I really liked this piece, and hope to see more like it. It truly made me smile. Thank you.
Thank you for the review!
Hey I'm here to review your work
Grammar:
Line like, "“Snape. Snape. Severus Snape.
Snape. Snape. Severus Snape.”" I think would look better if they were in italics
"That my teacher uses each time she grades our papers." this line kind of stood out to me, but not in a good way. It feels out of place and a little too long.
As a big Harry Potter fan, I loved this! I found it to be very original and have nothing about the meaning and story behind the words to critique. I think correcting the grammar and adding maybe some other things could make it even better.
Really loved this piece,
Alice
Thanks for the review!