My Best Friend

hey there :3333333333
i feel special

Hey there! I really, really like your poem <3 It reminds me of the one I wrote, My Best Friend is Gay.

Some suggestions:

1. Where this is a “free verse poem” you don’t need to capitalize all the words at the beginning of a new line. I think for this poem it would actually work better if you didn’t do that. It disrupts the flow. For example: “That society will look/Upon us with judging eyes.” When I first read this I was confused because U was capitalized in upon and it wasn’t the start of a new sentence. So, a good rule of thumb is that if the next line is still a part of the above sentence then there is no need to capitalize
2. This is only minor but when you say “Wishing for you” it makes it seem like narrator is wishing for the readers. I think it’s because most of the poem is not directed at the narrator’s best friend so when readers see this they might think it’s being directed towards them. It’s also confusing in the next two lines that follow because it is unclear who the narrator is speaking to.
3. Instead of saying “And away from judging eyes” I would just say “away from judging eyes.”

Comments/praise:

1. In this line: “I wouldn’t trade trade a lifetime” you repeat trade.
2. The title of this is perfect! It’s so simple and it really tells readers what the poem is about
3. I think the fact that you decided to write on this topic makes you a fantastic individual. So many people have an issue with people of the same sex loving each other and being in a relationship but we are all human and we are all entitled to love.
4. My favorite lines: “I wouldn’t trade a lifetime/for a second without her.”
5. Personally, I don’t think your poem needs “spice.” Yes, a lot of people crave for more in poem but this poem is so true to real life that I think adding “spice” to it would ruin it. And I think if you added “spice” to your poem it would take away from the simplicity, pure beauty and rawness of real life that you have created in this poem.

Fantastic, fantastic job! I will definitely be keeping an eye out for more works by you.

Much love,
Nicole

It`s really good that more and more works are tackling the ever-sensitive topic about homosexuality. Kudos for you since you`re one of the LGBT Pride!

Here`s my review of your work........
I think it lacks the "spice" that will make your readers CRAVE for more
I don`t mean to be harsh but I think it is very bland since there is nothing in it that is "new" to me. Almost all homosexuals experience the same struggle you have faced and with that, I already memorized their story of them against the society.
Though I think that your main objective here is to express your feelings and not to give something new to your readers, I recommend that you should try experimenting with words that may spice up your piece )

P.S.
Good luck to your love life <3

I like it when people write stories about homosexual relationships. I think that this really shows how some of us feel about our sexuality. I really hope you do more works.

Its brought the gay theme very posetively.the morale is that if one is gay,atleast hw or she should not have a pessimist approach to it and should not think of the society. No doubt work is good .

Hey there.

Yes, I liked the concept of lesbians here. I liked how you brought it up, something that doesn't have to be judged, something that cannot be controlled, something which is not wrong. Society claims to be open minded but honestly, it's just the opposite.

Secondly, I loved how you expressed it here. But you lost track somewhere in between. Add an exciting element to it, so the readers want more. This was cut short. They're just opinions personal ones, so your wish if you wanna moderate it or not.

Good job.

Keep writing and stay blessed.

xoxo