Lies,
All of it,
I'm tired of this game.
We keep going 'round and 'round,
But nothing will ever change.
*
Demons,
Surround me,
Whispering in my ears.
Death is a small price to pay,
For it's only you that I fear.
*
Pain,
Searing,
Worse than you'd ever know.
The words cut deeper than my wrists,
And bloody my heart and soul.
*
I'm done,
Its over,
I have finally had enough.
I may seem strong and stable,
But I'm really not that tough.
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139,867 Literary Works • 672,779 Reviews
Hello again, Tigerlilly~
I like the seriousness of this poem. Very interesting. It adds a personality to this poem which I really like. Still though, it has a hint of sadness, too.
I'm actually glad someone has written a poem about this kind of stuff. I mean, it's very important to know.
So, lets get to the nitpicks.
There in the second line you wrote "Its", and I believe this happened in another one of your works, where as it's supposed to be "It's" for "It is". This is one of my favorite stanzas - I hope you don't change any of the words (except for what I said) because it has great rhyming words. It feels like they're standing up finally, and they've had enough.
I like how you don't just put in what are hurtful things, but how they hurt. Each hurtful thing has it's own stanza to describe it's hurtfulness. I'm pretty sure you get what I'm saying.
Please, never stop sharing your beautiful works,
- Sunset101
Oh, thanks so much for finding that mistake! Also, thanks for the praise and the wonderful review.
Hello, I really love this poem- like very seriously. I really like the your poem flows which make it nice to read.
I like the way the character's feelings are portrayed in the poem. It makes me feel what she or he is going through.
I have always been a fan of dark and disturbing poems so thumbs up.
My favourite stanza would be the last one it was a great way to end your poem.
Anyway, goodbye for now and hope to see poems like this from you in the future.
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
You are welcome.
You are welcome.
So dark. So gloomy. So filled with horrible emotions...
I LOVE IT! I love the last stanza, I think it pretty much says it all. It's the perfect way to end-well, any type of writing, really. The way you seem to narrow down the deep feeling of depression to it's very core is really interesting. However, don't get too depressed, child. That would be quite awful, if you did.
thanks for the review
Wow. This is quite amazing in a morbid way. Honestly, I loved it. It brings out all the emotions it needs to, without using incomprehensible vocabulary. You've said so much by saying so little. You've created this aura of mystery and darkness, and as a reader, I love such poems. I love it when you get lost in a world just by reading a few sentences, and I must say, this poem really took me to another place.
This was intended to be a review, but it just turned to be me fangirling over your poem. Well, *sigh*.
Oh and Tigerlilly, I do hope that this was for the sake of poetry, and you really don't feel this way. Don't hurt yourself for anyone or anything. It isn't worth your life, okay? :* Take care and keep writing! I would love to read more!
Yes, part of me wrote this because I was in the middle of an emotional breakdown and just needed to vent something, and I was just really sad. Though I'm feeling much better now, and wont do anything to hurt myself.
Thanks for liking my poem and sharing your concerns!
Happy to hear that you are okay.
Also, I'm new here, so how do you like poems?
Welcome to YWS! And I love poems. They are really expressive and nice to read.
Me
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Home » Literary works » Poetry » Realistic294 16
Hurtful Things
by Tigerlilly37
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January 27, 2015 Poetry: Realistic, Horror 0 comments (0 reviews)
Lies,
All of it,
I'm tired of this game.
We keep going 'round and 'round,
But nothing will ever change.
*
Demons,
Surround me,
Whispering in my ears.
Death is a small price to pay,
For it's only you that I fear.
*
Pain,
Searing,
Worse than you'd ever know.
The words cut deeper than my wrists,
And bloody my heart and soul.
*
I'm done,
Its over,
I have finally had enough.
I may seem strong and stable,
But I'm really not that tough.
Hi i am siya. I liked your poem a lot . it is filles with emotion and it seemas like the writer was really feelingbgreat sorrow. I would just like to say a few things like -
You should have had a more catchy title soo that people get attracted to it. Since you have written a short poem i think you should have put some difficult words so that it balances dor bieng so short. But in all i liked the poem. I hope to read more of your work.