society needs to understand
that being gay isnt a problem
its just who you love
and love isnt a bad thing
my friends need to comprehend when i tell them
that i cant change
this is me
and that i cant help who i am
people need to know
to just shut up sometimes
its not your problem
so stay the hell out of it
and if you dont like me because of it
then go away
i dont need to hear your opinion
i dont need you to shove the Bible at me
i just need for you to know
that love doesnt change depending on your sex
love is a deep feeling of affection towards someone
and i love her
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Hey there Kat here to review for you!
Aw this was so moving! I have friends like this and I wouldn't ever dream of asking them to change. People are entitled to their opinion , but that doesn't mean they have to go making people feel bad for who they are and who they love. This was a really emotional poem and I loved reading it ! Aside from the nice message, a couple things ( I didn't read the other reviews so these may have been said already). "I" should usually be capitalized, and contractions have apostrophes "cant" should be "can't" . Also, not necessary always in poems but sometimes punctuation helps. Other than that not much else, you could try expanding your word usage to make your message even more powerful in future poems but I think what you have here does the job just fine. Keep at it ! I love such raw passionate poems like this
~Kat
Happy to review anytime
Thanks so much for your opinions! I think its great that you feel this way. I am actually struggling with this right now, and I feel as though I'm constantly being treated differently from it. I think that its definitely not something that people should be treated differently because of, and that's my opinion. I purposely had no grammar, because I was told before that something with such significance could be even better without. Once again, thanks so much for the review! It means a lot to me.
Heya!
So, let's start off by saying that I fully support Gay rights.
We are all human and even though I may not swing the same way you do, this poem made me feel how people in your position felt on the whole gay rights issue.
As Cleverclogs mentioned, I would change the word "society". Society means everyone, which is not the case. There are many out there who are the same as you or support you.
The poem has a rambling feeling which I assume is what you were going for. As you have probably had to say this more than once to people.
This is a poem filled with emotion however it could have been expressed better by describing how you feel instead of telling people to shut up. The people who are against gay marriage and gay rights would have more of an emotional feeling towards you and others like you if you didn't tell them to shut up and instead described how you feel.
That's all. I hope it helped and I would love to read more of your poems should you write anymore.
Hello there! cleverclogs here to review!
Being a (closeted, at least IRL) member of the LGBT community, this poem totally resonates with me. Now, to the review. I'm sorry if this isn't very helpful because this is such a good poem.
I disagree with xJupiter's comment. The lack of capitalization (and apostrophes) is intentional, yes? It fits the style of the poem perfectly, so I would recommend leaving it as it is.
Sometimes your word choice is a bit blocky. For instance,
and
sound a bit off when I read them in my head. I dislike the use of "society" in general, because it's sort of vague. You could replace that word with something else. The word "comprehend" also doesn't really fit, so I'd suggest changing that as well. The second and third lines of the last stanza are also a bit choppy. They're not quite poetic enough.
My favorite lines are:
and
The first one really hit a chord in me, and the second one is a perfect note to end your poem on. I also like the repetition of "x need to x" throughout the poem. Overall, it's a wonderfully resonant poem for me, but it could use a bit of work here and there. Thank you so much for writing this, and keep up the great work!
This is awesome, just capitalize your letters.