She loves me, she loves me not.
Flower petals flow gracefully in the wind, falling into the soft green grass.
Silence is my only company as I sit here on this rock, content with my flower.
I fantasize about her while I watch the sun fall beneath the horizon,
the flower pinched carefully between my thumb and forefinger.
Her lips, her hair, her gorgeous hazel eyes.
I pluck another petal, letting it fall into the breeze.
She loves me.
.
Memories flow through my mind, rustling all of my thoughts
the way she held me close, the way she kissed me.
Goosebumps raise all over my arms as I remember
the way we fought
silent treatments building up before we finally gave in and screamed.
We screamed at each other until our throats were raw and we had nothing more to say,
then held each other as the tears cascaded down our cheeks.
She loves me not.
.
I caress the flower fondly. Only a few petals remain.
I am reminded of her inner beauty as I look at this flower.
Sweet, kind, and yet incomplete and broken.
Fragile and dying slowly in my hands.
Maybe I should just let go…
But I can’t;
I love her too much to let her memory fade.
The flower is hanging limply in my grasp, and I smile sadly at it.
She loves me.
.
One more petal remains.
I let the tears roll softly down my cheeks as I remember the deafening drone of the engine,
the flash of silver metal and glass windows dotting along the sides of the plane.
I pluck the last petal from its place, closing it in my fist as the salty liquid falls from my eyes.
The stem falls to the grass, dead.
For a moment, the world stops.
Nothing more exists but that last petal.
I open my palm and let the light gale carry it from my body and close my eyes,
and whisper,
“She loves me not.”
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139,870 Literary Works • 672,780 Reviews
Hey Tigerlilly37, this is Sec1218 here reviewing your poem! First off, I thought it was very beautiful, and had an interesting plot (if poems can even have plots) and ending. I was expecting it to end with "she loves me", but you kept my attention, escpecially by the last three or four words at the end of each stanza. I like the idea of using the old "she loves me, she loves me not" saying with a flower. Secondly, I like your word choice, most of the time. Sometimes though, you write a little bit too much about what you are feeling, which is good, but the sentences where you write "Maybe I should just let her go, but I can't" do not quite flow as well as the rest of the poem does. BUT, that is my only suggestion, and as you can see, it is not a very strong one, so I'd say this poem is very well written. I loved reading all the way through, and I would have loved to keep reading. It was really beautiful, and I can't wait to see what else you put out!
~Sec1218
Thanks!!
Well here you have described hysteria very well.
The poem is all about your feelings nd gratitude towards her.
You have very well and in a calm manner described all the situations all those moments you had with her. Her memories, her behaviour, her nature.
And in the last you ended up in a tragedy writing her death.
The poem seemed very interesting.
Well done.
Keep writing.
Thank you!
Tigerlilly37,
This is really good!!!! I love your choice of words, especially in the last verse! I wasn't expecting that ending and even though you said there was only one petal left I kept thinking 'it has to work out, it has to!' This just begins to demonstrate how you keep your readers hooked with your writing, so keep with it!
Write on!!!!!
With Love,
SpencerReidIsMyLife
Thank you so much!