The Golden Strata: Chapter 1 /P

Amazing. Please keep going, you are so talented! It's incredibly well-written, and it grabbed my attention instantly!

why thank you brad

I KNOW WHAAAA
it sounded so good from all the short ungood comments
ahhhhh *me and morgan plot against something*

Why can't I have Adobe? *sniff*

Hahaha. No, it's okay. I already noticed them, but the thing about Marketplace -> Mar etplace is sarcasm about the faded out cloth (i.e. some letters don't show up.).

Aniar, you do realize that on the home page it said in big letters "DO NOT POINT OUT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?"

Just checking.

There was an error when I tried to get the story.

Wow, Brad this is really good. Seriousy I really liked this.

I could find pretty much no mistakes except for a few typos I thought you would appreciate if I pointed them out:

In page 8 of 11, second paragraph;
You have "SKY5400I" and "SKY5400i"... are they the same?

In page 9 of 11, in the second paragraph;
First sentence: the 'k' is missing between 'Mar' and 'etplace'
Same sentence: "Kingdo of Gab iel" to "Kingdom of Gabriel" (i think your using Gabriel)

Page 10 out of 11, first paragraph;
First sentence: "Mar etplace" to "Marketplace"

Other than those small things, again, this was really good.


Oh I have a question, did you really copyright this?
If so, where did you go and how much did it cost?

That was interesting. The scene with the house was described very well. I hope you let us read more of it.

This ... was really good.

I could feel the emptiness of this planet.

The intro was beautiful. It described this unfamiliar universe in such a way that it made me feel just as hopeless as it.

I am looking strongly forward to the next entry of this. Awesome.