Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,098 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
ohhhhhkayyyyy...
that was kinda wierd, I'm glad I'm not called vera or I would be REALLY freaked.
*looks over her sholder just in case*
okay, no ones there, but I'm still freaked.
It was a cool story though.
~blue~
highly amusing.
absolutely creepy.
I give it 10 stars for making me turn my head to make sure nobody was... OH MY GOD!!!
Although it was a little hard to understand, this piece was quite funny and... let's say interesting lol. This is the story I've come across by you, and I did enjoy it.
I thought this was really funny too. Written in an amusing style, the narrator is lively and great to listen (read) and really grabs your attention all the way through. I've never read any of your stories before, but if they are all like this, you should post/write more.
Uhm...Brad, you officially creep me out. But that's OK...I have to agree with everyone else. It was really funny. Especially the first two paragraphs...the whole sort of goth thing really shows throughout the piece.
Interesting...
(upon request)
:ahem:
Well, over all, I enjoyed it. And yes...the narrator was rather comical.
But there were a few things....
1. Indent! Indent! Indent!
2. "As I noticed the dark, musty shadows in the scullery undulating, my heightened sense of fear and adrenaline reached its apex." I didn't really get the musty shadows part...I'm not sure...it may just be me.
3."I leapt to my feet, now almost certain I had heard the moa—dongggg dongggg—ning. I whirled around, heart racing (thud thud, thud thud) and breathed, for the clock had only struck 1." Shouldn't the "dongggg"s be "dooongs"?
Okay, I seriously am making no sense here...or am I? I don't know. But that's all I had to say about this. Usually in stories where there's little to no dialogue (even in a first person story) the story can be dead and just kind of stay on the surface. But the narrator here was very realistic and not dead at all,lol.
Overall--good work.
(happy now?:wink:)
I liked this a lot. It reminded me of The Raven meets American Psycho. I found the narrator quite humorous, particularly in the bit involving sex with the corpse.