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140,098 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
Nicely done. The essay portion can be wordy and pretentious, but you get awayn with it because it is the character reading it. You also thoroughly humanized your character. The beginning an ends, which were not part of the essay, were written brilliantly. This one line "See? Now you still know nothing about me. Great." is somewhat irksome, and nothing would be lost if you removed it. Great work. Very unique piece, and though very short, quite substantial to stand by itself.
Well, I loved that piece. Especially the last paragraph, how, although slipping back out from the speech, is connected and relevant. I thought the image of of the classmates filing out was perfect.
Cool. Thats what this was. One question: Is this about you? Or is this something you wrote on the spur of the moment? Okay so thats more then one question, but thats life.
Still, exceptional writing.
I thought that this was good. It seems as if you were trying to get across something that happened to you. Whatever it was, I think that it was a very good story and should be adapted into much more.
