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125,020 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
This is moving along nicely.
I've noticed this is very character driven. I'm not saying that's bad thing at all. It is what works for you. There is a plot deep down there somewhere and I am determined to find it. It's what drives me, as a reader, to go on. The characters want to me to go on, to find out what happens to them next and what purpose it all serves.
I liked the change up of Chris actually having something good happen to him. Not everything should be utterly tragic. But alas, he is ripped of even that.
I found Donny's behavior somewhat odd in this chapter, especially at the end. I'm sure you purposely did this. But I better see a reason later on, or you'll lose plausibility. I'm sure you have everything in order though.
Nice work, Incan.
I
really
like
the
characters.
Very
real
like.