Make A Move

Verse 1:
This world around me is fading away
But everyone is just living like it's another day
Oh I refuse to remain silent
I will raise my voice
For this world is doomed
If we don't make a move

Chorus:

We got to make a move
We just can't sit back and relax
We got to tell this world
That Jesus is coming back
There is no time to wait or hesitate
We got to share the truth
We have to stand up and make a move
We got to make a move

Verse 2:

We need to stop wasting our lives
And start living our lives like Christ
We need to share his unending love with everyone
For this world is doomed
If we don't make a move

Back to Chorus:

Bridge:

We just can't sit around and wait
We got to participate
Action is what we require
Reignite this fire (3x)

End with Chorus

Comments

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Thu Feb 27, 2014 6:25 pm

TakeThatYouFiend wrote a review...

This is great, but less lyrical methinks than the last. (The last being make me like a star.)
A slight criticism; I see no reason for the total lack of punctuation, and I think 'twould add rhythm to the piece.
A word on the message; I am glad to see a diverse range of spiritual messages in your piece, for it is all too easy to write about the same thing multiple times and just repeat the rhymes.
I think I am beginning to sense a common style to your lyrics. :-)
My favorite is undoubtedly the title line, yet unfortunately I don't know why, it just seems so symbolic etc.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

Points: 35799
Reviews: 1274

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Sun Jan 26, 2014 3:59 am

niteowl wrote a review...

Hi there WindSailor! Niteowl here to review for the Cobalt Critiquers this fine Review Day!

Overall, this is pretty good. Like AEChronicle said, it's hardly a new message, but it's expressed well. Just some small nitpicks.

This world around me is fading away
But everyone is just living like it's another day

So the second line here feels long and clunky compared to the first line. I think the best way to remedy this is replace "everyone" with "we're". This feels more "convicting" (as the cool Christians say), since it implies the listener (who is probably Christian already) isn't doing what he/she is supposed to be doing.

We got to share the truth
We have to stand up and make a move
We got to make a move

Here, we have two repetitions. "We got" is okay, but "make a move" is kind of a boring phrase to repeat twice like that. I'd think of a stronger verb, like maybe "love" or "save" or "preach" or "run" or "drive" or...something. Be creative. Give me a move I can make.

We need to stop wasting our lives
And start living our lives like Christ
We need to share his unending love with everyone

Lives, living, lives...again with the over-repetition. I might replace one of the "lives" with something like "days" or "years" or even "hours" (that would really up the urgency factor).

Overall, this is solid, just a few minor suggestions. Keep writing!

WindSailor says...

Thanks

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Reviews: 205

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Sat Jan 25, 2014 4:19 am

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AEChronicle wrote a review...

This would go great as a modern-rap/rock song, with a fast pace and some pump up hammer chords to get your blood moving.

The premise of the lyrics isn't anything new, obviously, but it is something that has been sung throughout the ages for a good reason, and you've definitely hit the nail on the head here.

I don't have a lot of uplifting criticism, as there's not a lot to say, but I also don't have any nitpicks with the lyrics, so it's it would make a good song.

Thank you WindSailor!

Wriskypump says...

I thought it was great. I think exactly the same thing, but it is always easier said than done. I mean because you will attract persecution, and I'm excluding death from that category, because that would be more of a blessing in a sense.

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Make A Move

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