>They called me selfish,
But they don't know what I keep inside.
They said I'm not kind,
But they don't know how many times I cried.
I said to myself,
"I'm okay, everything will be fine."
>I fell on my bed in the dark,
With so many thoughts inside my heart.
My pillow was there, but it felt like nothing,
I hugged it tight and started sobbing.
I whispered to myself,
"I'm okay, everything will be fine."
>I told my pillow, "I'm tired today.
I don't even know what to say."
I cried into it and held it near,
Wishing someone would say, "I'm here."
I murmured to myself,
"I'm okay, everything will be fine."
>My blanket covered me that night,
I held it close with no fight.
I didn't know how to make things right,
So I stayed there, hiding from the light.
I breathed to myself again,
"I'm okay, everything will be fine."
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141,948 Literary Works • 676,149 Reviews
Hey Moon!
I could relate to this poem a lot; it is an incredibly raw and emotional poem that you have written here.
These lines stuck with me the most:
Even though I try... my level best to be kind to everyone, I have people who hate me for no specific reason. Sometimes they accuse you without knowing what you truly did, relying mainly on other people's words.
I too, try and pretend sometimes that everything is okay when it isn't.... But trust me, it all will really be okay in the end
Critique:
The only thing that I want to say is that you could add a little more detail to what made you feel this way....
Overall great poem like all your others...
Love ,
Queenie
Hello there, I will be reviewing this wonderful poem.
"I told my pillow, "I'm tired today.
I don't even know what to say."
I cried into it and held it near,
Wishing someone would say, "I'm here."
I murmured to myself,"
This is my favorite line, the narrator is sad and all alone, and they just want someone to be there for them. I love that part.
This is such an amazing piece.
I love the repeating of
I also love every other line being a rhyme. I'm not sure if this was on purpose, but it flows very well.
"But they don't know what I keepinside.
They said I'm not kind,
But they don't know how many times I cried."
Overall, I loved this poem, keep up the great work!
Mwah Mwah! <3
-STARRYY
This was by far the realist line for me.
I loved this poem so much. It felt so real and true. And I begin to wonder if you hold any pain from the feelings of them. I feel like me and you are so much alike that it's crazy to just read this beautiful piece.
I love how you repeated this for each of the stanzas.
It's so emotionally real, (yes, I said it already but I'm saying it again.)
I didn't see anything that needed touch-ups, I didn't see any grammar that needed help. It flowed so well, that you could almost start to cry if it were written to you.
~ Jaye.
I never know how to start these reviews without saying, "Wow, this poem is so beautiful," but It's so true. ✌️😭 This piece is so incredibly raw and emotional, and it really illustrates the internal pain of being exhausted from carrying heavy things. I really love reading your poems, I feel like you do such a beautiful job of conveying emotion in each piece you write. Thank you for sharing!!!