Hi, marmalade!
I really like your poem. It is like devided in three parts. First one is the past; some memory that gives you sentimental feelings. It is really sensitive, especially when you are romantic. The second one is like present. That metaphor that you used - really original. It is like one of the signs that you really are the poet. Making something original, that makes other people think twice and what makes them adore your poem is wonderful. The third part is mixed. Something between present and future. Your brave ambition has an argument - he is leaving and the fact that you actually put the exact number of the days is powerful. It makes the reader realize, that time always runs out and the sad thing is, that your time with him is counted.
I will be looking forward for your new poems! Keep going with your works!
Points: 83
Reviews: 4
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