the settler and the skeletons

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review.

While I admit that this isn't the best work you've done, there's a particular rhythm here that drew me in. At the same time, there's this oddity of the way the lines are formed in this poem, which I'll touch on more later on. Overall, I can admit this isn't my favorite work from you, though it does do what it usually does with effective minimalism. Just eight lines here that contain a lot of substance. That's something that I have to admire about this poem. The amount that can be taken away in just a couple of lines. At the same time, this time around there's a lot of room for the reader to interpret what's going on since we aren't exactly told.

This is where I wanted more imagery. There's a lot that can be expanded on here with this girl, though if you don't want to, that's okay too! It's a choice that's yours to make here about the poem if you want to expand or if you want to leave it up to the imagination of the reader. Either decision is one that I can see being effective if executed well enough. I'm imagining this girl, almost some sort of magical being who lives in a swamp with a lot of trees surrounding it.

At the same time, that's just what I come up with when I read this poem, and it may not be what everyone else thinks of. The last three lines of the first stanza each starting with a verb seems to be an intentional choice. This is where the flow is a little odd for me. Adding some sort of subject, at least maybe in one of the lines, could be beneficial to making it feel more natural instead of slamming the reader with a verb.

I have to say that the first two lines are a little bit confusing for the reader. I'm going to assume 'to their frames' is referencing to the skeletons of the last stanza as well as the hollow bones that she warps her arms around, though I'm not absolutely sure. In the last line, what is she pulling away from? The bodies? That's what I think, though clarity there would help. Overall, this is solid for what it is, though it's quite vague in what it's descriptions, though it's your decision whether you think that's a good or bad aspect of this piece.

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.

Hi dear! Becca here for a quick review.

So, I've read this poem several times since it's been in le Green Room for so long. I haven't had much to say, but on this most glorious of Review Days, I will share some thoughts.

You write beautifully, and eloquently, but something about this poem didn't feel complete. The title is called "the settler and the skeletons," and presumably the narrator of the poem is the settler who settles in (within?) skeletons.

The first two lines are gorgeous, I wouldn't change anything, and I think they draw the reader in. The third line kind of reiterates what the first two already said, but says it in a different way. And then the fourth and fifth lines use what the third line established and expand upon it.

I felt the second stanza didn't really relate to the first so well. The first stanza is this nice image, and then the second stanza is saying the narrator is hopeless without this tactic. I don't feel the last line was a strong enough ending. It seemed a bit dramatic, like there was more to be told and instead of telling it we just have this emotional bit of information.

These were just some quick thoughts. I hope they were helpful. Obviously all changes are up to you as the author. Keep writing, can't wait to read more of your poems!

Hello marms,
It's Ego here for a review. Hope this helps even just a little. To clear it up, these are only my personal opinions.

I loved the way words flow in this poem. And you did a real good job building up a picture. It feels like this piece of poetry was generated straight from the heart. I don't know if I'm right because I may find it like that because 'She' is someone quite similar to me, living in a world of hopeless hope.

Now:

lays foundations on unfit ground