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139,604 Literary Works • 672,617 Reviews
Carly's corner: (very short review):
Haven't reviewed any work the whole day, i dropped by, your title caught my eyes, so I thought why not? but one thing, I'm extremely tired right now, I do not know if I'll be making sense with my review.
I loved the first two stanzas of the poem so much, mostly because I love repetition in poems.
The third stanza lost some touch to me (had amazing words well played with). I think the second line was excessively long for the tone of the poem. It had an off tone.
other than that, the next stanzas that followed was equally amazing and although they weren't eye catchy for me as the first two, I still commend them for words well played with.
Hi me again for another review on your lovely poem! I found a couple of typos end such that I just wanted to point out.
So without further ado the review!
1) In your third stanza second sentence, the thought is good just very long and makes the poem look funny visually, so to fix this, I would split it up some where in the middle to make everything equalish length.
2)the colon in "believe you are a rotten apple...." I think needs to be a semicolon. I'm not sure so you might look up the proper uses for it if you plan on fixing it.
3) this one's just my opinion so feel free to ignore it. In your last sentence in the poem I would italicize 'but' as well.
Any who, I enjoyed your writing and hope you keep it up!