This is a poem written to be a "year later" response and update to I Planted A Seed which is a poem that changed my life. It was my first bit of writing to get published (both in a magazine and in a book) and it marked the beginning of finding my style of poetry. I'm quite emotional about it because I've been through a lot. I hope you will give it a good review so I can make it even better and hopefully as impactful as I Planted A Seed. Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day!
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Its a good poem,it's real ams describe the feeling,it also encourages and give hope ...It strengthen the spirit.
Your poem heal the broken heart,it gives the assurance that everything would be alright, it has such strong words
I like the last part,it shows that you have moved on,the past no longer affect you,it no longer make you feel like dying
Miss,I love your poem,I'm looking forward to more of it
Viv here, for hopefully a review.
Well damn. What can I say except I love it. It's truly a wonderful read. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing for you, but I see nothing that needs to be rewritten or reworded. You held me captivated with your beautiful descriptions, so much so that I had a dreamy sense of healing with the knowledge that it has been a year later. I especially enjoy the lines:
"The earth has drunk my sorrows and
turned it into a spring delight of daisies,
tulips, posies, and colorful greens."
There is just something inherently appealing of the idea that something negative can be turned into something positive.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
All for now,
Love Vivian.
A year later, you have grown into such an amazing poet - and I believed in you! Your voice has shaped itself so beautifully. I'm shookt.
(meanwhile i'm having crappy writing sessions every. single. time.)
awwweee thank you <3
this deserves more likes asap. It is a beautiful thing to show improvement and show your growth, and it is an even more beautiful thing to show in the wonderful form of poetry.
aww thanks babe <3
Wonderful poem! I read "I planted a Seed" first, and although each are quite moving alone, they are even more stirring when read back to back. So great job
grammatically refers to two different times (past and present)--idk if that's what you meant, and I'm not exactly getting what you're saying...? Also, I'd change "could've" in that line to "could have," just cause it sounds more professional. Personal preference, thoughI only have a bit of critique. First of all, the punctuation is for the most part fine, but the lack of capitalization kinda threw me off...I know it's personal preference, but I suggest considering at least capitalizing the "I"s and maybe the beginnings of the poem.
There is some confusion in lines 5-7. It took me a few times reading it over to understand. "Dribbled" should be "dribble" in line 6, and there was also some tense confusion...
In the last line, I feel like it would be more dramatic if you made its own line, or maybe add a dash? So it would read "as my heart--and hope is enough for now." It just flows nicer, and doesn't seem so sudden.
That's all for the critique! Nothing major--you did a great job with the overall flow and structure of the poem, and it is not lacking in clarity, either, which is an accomplishment for such an abstract topic :'D
...I just have to say I LOVE lines 9-11, where you were talking about the dirt and the puddles. That's such a unique, neat way to imagine that! Pretty cool.
Alright, well thanks for writing this! Really enjoyed it.
--CClesta
Thanks!