a time before

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review.

Admittedly, I don't believe that this piece is your strongest, though at first I wasn't able to put my finger on why. I can see that you're almost in a mix between writing a real experience and a fake one--the whole poem could very well all be based off your life, but that's not the point.

The first stanza takes roots in a trend of the real world, 'smashing or passing', yet the rest of the piece does not bother to mention something like this again. It's a little off-putting, so I don't know what tone you're going for in this poem, because in the first half, you seem to try and take a more realistic and down to earth approach while the second half seems as if it's trying to be more poetic.

What I have to say is, make up your mind. I'm personally not a fan of the first stanza that much, but if you could execute it stronger, then maybe I'd change my mind. I wanted to point out some wordings and some places you can reword in the flow. In the first line, you use 'telephone wires', which, is a bit of a mouthful. The listing that you do with the time before texting is also hard to get through, and I think that even a simple rearrangement of words could make this first stanza stronger.

The first line in the second stanza is fine regarding flow, though lines two and three not so much. In the second line, I believe you mean 'rainy days' in line two. Perhaps consider changing those lines to: 'i want to travel. i want to spend rainy days/in coffee shops, waiting for you to answer.' Though, that's just an example and if you don't want to, you don't have to touch it. In the fourth line, 'bird's eye pictures' is a bit awkward, and I suggest maybe changing it to something else that isn't as clunky.

In the last stanza, I enjoy it, yet at the same time it feels a little out of place in this poem ending with a list. I also don't believe that's how a semicolon is to be used, as a semicolon is used to connect two independent clauses. Change the last line, whether it be cutting out 'and' or putting a comma after 'then', or something.

I hope I helped and have a great day! If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

I was initially super hesitant to review this, I really wanted to but this poem is intimidating. I have now gotten over the trepidation but I still think I should leave a disclaimer as follows: I am not very good at poems and not necessarily a decent critic of them so please take anything I say with a grain of salt, and while normally I don't think there are any wrong opinions, but it is actually quite likely I will give a flat out wrong opinion here so don't hesitate to tell me if so.
First off the poem seems to have a theme of nostalgia, the remembrance of past times and how good they were, at least for the first stanza, in the final stanza this theme is undercut by a second idea of not just the past being preferable, but also the present being unpleasant. The final line is punctuated by the uncertainty of maybe, and it seems even the ideals of this character lead to at best just a chance at being ok. So the first and final stanzas interact in an interesting way and play off one another fine. The middle stanza is the most complex thematically with the most to unpack.

The middle stanza contains your direct reference to the audience and cements us a receiver of these ideas. This context sheds new light as now we see the poem has a target character whom we must replace. Obviously the speaker is confiding in us their true feelings, expressing how tired and fed up they are of dead romances, broken friendships and crushed dreams. They wish to be above it all, to have a birds eye view. Intertwined fingers is a romantic gesture, in contrast to the dead romances talked about later on.

Overall this poem to me paints a picture of internal struggle, coming to terms with new perception and perspectives. A character lost in themselves though they may not know it. Like how they wish to go back and relive romance despite knowing how it will invariably end. Ignorance is bliss, the more you know the less you wish you knew. The nostalgia of the character is not a solution for them. This all harkens back to a quote I read about how one is either looking forward to the future or in deep regret of the past,and very few can live I the present. It's relatable to all coming of age narratives, the limbo between future and past. A good topic for a poem. Keep writing.