tarot doves

This is Nikayla hopping in for a review for the first time in forever.

So I meant to get to this piece sooner, but now is later than never! I think the first line is an interesting way to describe cards, especially if they've been worn by use, which is what you seem to be describing. The poem seems to give an overarching idea of what tarot cards are, but the aspect of the poem that I think could have made it so much better and so much more in-depth is the actual cards and what they mean.

I know that a main part of the poem is the usage of the cards and their physical appearance, but you never seem to actually go into the details of the cards, which disappoints me. It's a poem that focuses on the surface of what tarot cards are and how they tell fortunes and can be similar to horoscopes, but don't do any comparing to anything else of that sort. I think the poem would be more effective on the topic if you happened to go more into the lore of the cards and their meanings.

You happen to list a couple of them off in the piece but this doesn't give the reader any insight as to what they mean, which I think would make for some interesting imagery with the different depictions there are and I do certainly think that people who enjoy tarot would appreciate that aspect if you decided to add it in. Looking on the piece right now as it is, it works for what it is.

The imagery is easily the strongest part of the piece but I think adding to it would benefit the poem even though your main image or focus seems to be the wear and tear on the cards as well as the metaphor of doves that comes into the poem. But the main thing is, there isn't that much more to it and there's so much you can do with the idea of tarot in itself and it feels a little on the surface or lacking in that sense.

Best wishes,
Kayla.

Marms. <3

This review took a while to process because I wanted to discuss the cards with Rosey and really get a feel for what is hiding under the surface here. So there's a lot of inference to be pulled out, which I like, but there's also a lot of explicit demand for understanding intentions, which isn't bueno.

Agreed suggestion regarding the tarot: try using minor arcana in tarot poems, or at least do a realistic mix (coming from a man whose latest reading had so much major arcana in it there's no telling when the answer will come) to give more detail, more depth of reality and grit to the underlying meaning. Rosey's favorite example is that the entire plot of The Princess & The Frog is told through Dr. Facilier's Tarot Reading, though it isn't explicitly spoken. Most were minor arcana. (Also good research bait that had me digging for a while; it's interesting and lovely from a writing standpoint.)

But the idea of the cards and doves' wings being wrinkled and crippled gives a flaw to the message of amazing rush of romance that breaks down. So you're either adding to the negative, or you're undercutting it, and I think that's actually wonderful for the reader to decide, or at least cipher on once they understand the message of the cards. That said, you also continue with the narrative of the doves that kinda doubles the card reading (I suppose it gives it context for those that a.) don't know tarot, b.) don't have a Rosey, or c.) don't want to know.) I'm unsure on this point because it IS redundant, but it's also helpful for those who just don't follow. Personally, I'd try to give more undertones and nuance to the story instead of telling it twice.

I hope this helps,
Ty

Love your profile picture!

Hi there, Marmalade! (Can I just off-the-bat point out that your writing is like Laurie Halse Anderson's, like you are a younger yet blossoming version of her? I really mean that.) It's been a long, long time since I've actually put a review down. I guess I try not to offend the writer, but don't want to waste their time with meaningless sentences.

Anyways.

You said you needed a review, so I'll try my hardest on this. And you like the first few sentences. First, let me ask you some questions. What makes tarot cards like doves? What poetic similarities or differences do they have? What does the line: "the lovers, the moon, the hanged man, the fool" mean? - on a more precise note, what does that line symbolize or represent?

I never really understood the difference between tarot cards and regular playing cards. I searched the denotation for it, but don't understand the concept much.

I noticed you used words that create a repetition of some sort: using the letter w in "wrinkled, wings, worn" and using the letter f in "fortune, flip, flap, flutter, flight, fool, falter, flail" and again using the letter m in "mutilated, maimed, mangled". Were you trying to create an effect with this, or is this just a tidbit I noticed?

I enjoyed the short poem. Connecting doves and tarot cards is an okay idea, as long as you pull it off successfully (I'd give you 9/10 rating).

As far as criticism or critique goes, I can't say that I have any I personally feel should be addressed. Maybe relate the cards to the doves more? I love the way you write, and the formatting/style you use when publishing.

I can't wait to see your next work! Loved this short selection of the poetic talent of you! Have a nice evening