Authors Note: "This is not true. This is not about me. This is just made up. So don't feel bad. Just saying."
Outside is nice,
But inside is madness.
I walked in the building,
My heart full of sadness.
I walked to lunch,
Filled up with sorrow.
Sat down and cried,
At a hopeless table.
Sitting alone for hours and hours,
Just waiting for the day to be over,
But then I get the call,
That I should go back to class,
Witch always seems like,
A brawl.
I walked back to class,
With my homework not done,
My teacher was mad,
Because I did not,
Do my work,
Just as she asked,
But only because,
I was sad.
But tomorrow may be different,
But probably the same,
A day filled with sorrow,
And also filled with shame.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Hey dogsrule. Great poem! I feel that everybody has been bullied at a point in their lives. I had to change schools because of bullying. And to people who are getting bullied, Tell someone. Don't wait till it gets worse. Stop it before it gets out of hand! Get an adult, tell your parent or guardian, Tell a friend. Tell someone. I hope one day we may live in a world without bullys. If we work together, we can make it happen. Epic poem! keep writing!
Sincerely,
corgisrock22
Thanks, Corgs. Talk to you later.
Hey Crogs! I know it's been awhile, but do you ever get on YWS anymore? Because for some reason I feel like you don't and Puppies3117 said that she doesn't get on anymore either. Just saying and wondering... Bye for now! And skype you soon!
Review
Hello, I want to start of by saying this poem is very true. It might just be me because I like realistic stories, but I think it makes a better novel when you write something that can actually happen. In my opinion it helps the reader to connect more to the story. You did that here, I could feel what the character was feeling. That might be because I have also been bullied , but either way you did a great Job on that.
keep writing
~cassaundra~
I feel bad for you that you have been bullied, but I have not as it said in the Authors, Note, at the top. But again, I just like to write some things fiction, but sometimes I like to write realistic fiction, or just plain true. Well thanks for the amazing review. *Follows to say thank you* XD! Anyway. Talk to you later.
I enjoyed the poem, school is pretty chaotic and a pain, you have just got to drag yourself through it all. I only saw so far one grammatical mistake "witch almost seems like" should be which. My favorite part of the poem is the ending because it flowed perfectly,
"But tomorrow may be different, But probably the same, A day filled with sorrow, And also filled with shame." So heartfelt, almost saddening. Keep writing! Hope to read more soon, and great job!
ALright thanks for the concern, but I think I have been told that one to many times, and I might be losing my marbles just form one annoying nitpick. (Just kidding) XD!
Hey Dog, like the poem and the title. It does have a musical flow to it, soft a bit monotone maybe. I saw one spelling mistake, the "Witch always seems like", should be "Which". Other than that it's a good poem.
Thanks, and I will try to get to that nitpick as soon as possible.
An interesting concept. Some of the rhyming is placed funny as it isn't a consistent feature throughout the poem and seems to appear in slightly random places however when it does rhyme it works well and the tune if you will in your head forms nicely and smoothly.
I always find that to write poems I need to be feeling what I'm writing, for example I couldn't myself write a poem about being a girl who is unhappy at school simply because that is not the situation I find myself in, (mainly because I'm male to begin with but still), however if you are able to then each to their own. It's similar to writing song lyrics I find which I can't write if I'm not in some way related to what I'm writing about.
I enjoyed reading the poem however and am I glad I took the time to read it.7
Best of luck.
Thank you. And I did relize my rhyming sceme was off, but I will fix that once I come up with some rhyming words to make them fit, but thanks for the concern.