You Will be You

Hey dogs,(I'm really gonna annoy you today with all my reviews :p)
So this piece of your work kinda reminds me of Elena from the vampire diaries (if you know what I'm talking about hurrrah!!! If not then you should know she was the queen of the school and she was mean sometimes and she had the best kind of friends and stuff anyway) I like everything about this. The way it flows. The message behind it. The way you advice. Your choice of words. Everything. I guess that's all.

Never quit writing,(you are too good to do it )
Fangirl~

Hey there, gonna leave you a brief review. c:

I really enjoyed reading this poem. It's quite relatable. Most teens who weren't exactly popular could probably relate to the feelings and thoughts exposed within this poem. Or, at least, I sure could. I especially appreciated how you transitioned the poem into a more positive note. By going from sad, friendless, and desiring to be those more popular than yourself, to a note on how everyone will be themselves and it's pointless to try to be someone else, you greatly made this poem into one that gives hope. You balanced out the sad emotions greatly, by adding the hopeful ending. I really have nothing to nit pick. I think you did a fantastic job writing this! c:

Hey! CaptainSaltWater here with a review for you!

I really liked this. Though it is like one big run-on sentence. It feels like it never ends. Other than that great job! Also, like what Dracula said, you should space out the lines, here is an example of what you did.


You see the popular girl

Walking the halls of school,

You say to your one friend,

"I want to be just like her"

You try,

And you try,

Nothing works.

You can't be popular,


Instead of that, you should do this.


You see the popular girl

Walking the halls of school,

You say to your one friend,

"I want to be just like her"

-

You try,

And you try,

Nothing works.

You can't be popular,


It makes the poem look more appealing. But otherwise great job. I really love your topic on this because everyone wants to be a popular person. I want to see more of your work. Don't give up and always write, dogsrule5!

Nice poem! I really like the idea of 'you being you' and you've written it well. Although, for the first two thirds I felt like the poem's main focus was on friendship, and not leaving a true friend for someone 'popular'. But at the end it brings it back to the main topic. By the way, what I just said is not a nitpick. It's just good to know what people think when they read your poetry.

My only nitpick is with this line: Ditched your only friend. Ditched seems like such a colloquial word, when the rest of the poem sounds quite formal. A word as simple as 'lost' could be a good replacement.

That's all I've got to say about your poem. Good job, I liked it! Oh, and whenever I try to make stanzas on YWS, I just put one full stop in the dividing line, then it stays there. Like this...

qqqqq
.
wwww
.
eeeeee
.
You get the point.

Man, childhood sucks, doesn't it? If I could change some events that happened in my life, I would've kept my friends instead of tried to be popular...well, if I only had friends when I was a kid, but that's besides the point.

"I want to be just like her."

"What have I done?" you think.

Did you capitalize "She" on purpose? I'm just asking.

Therefore, she is mean

This is a fantastic work. Keep writing, please.

I tried to make stanza's no lie, but they are not showing. Sorry about that. Now they are...