A/N ~ This is a bullying awareness poem. This was also written with lots of help of @RadiantShadow. This was for @GoldenArrow's contest on her club "The awesome book club" and RadiantShadow and I wanted to post this poem because we think bullying is an important topic. Thanks @RadiantShadow for all your help! I hope you all feel touched by this poem and I hope it helps you to realize the real pain people go through because they are or were once or being bullied. Bullying is a series topic, and it shouldn't be happening, but it is. I hope this poem touches your heart. <3
~Dogs
We have gotten bullied for being
too fat, and too skinny.
For being too short, or too tall.
We have been bullied for being
optomistic, and for being a realist
For being religious, and not religious enough.
We have been bullied for being
too nice, and not nice enough
For being strong and not strong enough.
We have been bullied for being
ourselves, and being someone were not.
For wearing glasses and wearing contacts.
We have been bullied for being
too sentimental or too cynical
For being too smart or for being dumb
We have been bullied for being
too comfortable in our own skin
and for being too scared to be heard.
They think its all fun and games, but it isnt
its mean and cruel, and we are hurt.
Why Am I the one getting beaten?
Why am I the one getting scolded?
Why is it I that is being judged?
Why am I the one in pain,
Always feeling bad about myself
Why do we have to turn to razors or ropes
to ease the pain cause by you dashing our hopes?
~What did I do wrong?
What did we do wrong?~
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hey, dogsrule5,
your poem is absolutely , hands down, THE most amazing poem i've read! it touched my heart, and will surly touch many others'. it almost brought tears to my eyes as i realized how true this is. You have conveyed emotions perfectly in mere stanzas. that in itself is a challange. i cannot tell you how much i just LOVED the ending.
what did i do wrong
what did WE do wrong.
it just gives a hopeful message: you are not alone
keep on writing, i'm looking forwards for more of your work
Thanks so much and I'm so glad you liked the poem!
-DogsRule5, RadiantShadow-
Hey, I'm here for a review!!!!!!
I love your poem!!! it dexcribes completely how someone feels when bullied! I was bullied for over 5 years and all i thought was why is it only me? Eventually that turned into: I must deserve it....im horrible....i should die....Later on i realized that it happens to everybody. Now, I'm not saying that everybody becomes suicidal. No. They don't. But everyone is under scrutiny, and everyone deals with it differently. That's what makes us human.
sorry about my rant
Anyway, your poem is absolutely AMAZING!!!!
I love how you include "we" in the end, thus making sure victims know that they're not alone:
"Why do we have to turn to razors or ropes
to ease the pain cause by you dashing our hopes?
~What did I do wrong?
What did we do wrong?~"
I especially love your last line:
What did WE do wrong?
absolutely priceless.
Again: AMAZING!!!!
Write On!!!!
-SpencerReidIsMyLife-
Aww! You're so sweet! Thanks for the review, and I'm really glad you liked the poem! By the way thanks for the follow! *Follows back*
Hello. As a bullying survivor myself, thank you.I read this and it brought tears to my eyes. I have been put through many bad experiences, and I am starting to finally love myself from what happened. Moving on, the only thing I see wrong is small easy to fix grammatical errors. Nothing too bad do not worry. This was an excellent read. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. I may not be online a lot, but I will try to be online more, I am here for you bud. Thank you again.*hugs*
Aww! @ashtheawesome12401 you're so sweet! This poem was for a contest @RadiantShadow and I wrote it together. It was a team effort! I'm so glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the wonderful comment! Also anytime you need someone to talk to I'm here for you too!
~Dogs
This poem touches on the serious issue of bullying and I can definitely relate, so thank you for writing this. You poured a lot of emotion into this and it showed. I only noticed a few problems. "...and being someone were not." Were needs to be corrected to we're. Also removing a few words such as in "For being religious, and not religious enough." This could be changed to"...and not enough," to help with the flow. Other than that I loved this poem. Keep up the good work!
~WannabeWriter112
Thanks glad you liked the poem!
I really like the idea behind this poem. There were a few grammatical errors with contractions and spelling, but i really enjoyed the contradictions inside each of the lines. I think the poem would be more powerful if you ended it with the line [/What did I do wrong/], in my opinion, but i think the ending had a very powerful message. The rhyme with ropes and hopes is a little bit distracting because there aren't really any rhymes beside that one, and i think you could say the same thing by using a different choice of words. I really enjoyed this poem, keep writing!
Thanks glad you liked it!
Hello there, Dogsrule5/RadiantShadow.
I'm Moonwatcher here with a review! ^-^
I would like to thank you for touching something so important. So many people shrug off the fact that bullying is such an important matter, especially if they have never been bullied, or were once bullies themselves.
I feel as if the poem kind of drags on, and got old really quickly. This being because the repetition of interrogating the reader doesn't present anything really new. Another thing that I feel could make the poem less boring, and a whole lot stronger, is imagery. This would be perfect, because so many emotions conflict with each other because of bullying. You would constantly be presenting the reader something emotional, passionate, creative, and original, which is sure to keep the reader hooked if used wisely.
There's a subtle, but present rhyme throughout the poem. I personally am not a fan of rhyme. This being because it's not very necessary, but so many people think it is. It constricts the author into only being allowed to use a certain set of words. Every word has a rhyme, but that rhyme might not be the word you're looking for. This could prevent the author from being able to convey certain emotions/feelings.
The punctuation is somewhat inconsistent. Either add punctuation wherever there needs to be, or remove the punctuation altogether(with some exceptions). There are some grammar mistakes, but instead of pointing them all out, I suggest reading the poem yourself. Out loud.
That's all I have to say about this poem. I hope my review helped you out! ^-^
Thanks for the review!