Young Writers Society

Wow. Firstly, the title is what grabbed my attention. Love truly is war, isn't it? xD

Okay, onto my review....

So, I rather enjoyed this poem. It emphasizes your metaphor, that love is a war. And this, I loved about it. I normally don't like the cliché falling for the vain and popular girl, and then even the blonde hair and blue eyes... But in your poem, it worked rather well. And then the ending... I absolutely love the last two lines. ^~^

For the sake of making my review "helpful", I will leave a suggestion as well. I didn't really find anything worth nit-picking, but I suppose the first stanza was a bit awkwardly paced. Now, this isn't an issue at all, but the first line may sound better if re-worded to match the pace of the next three lines.

Other than that minor suggestion, you have an awesome poem here! Great job, and I hope to read more of your work soon! ^-^

Hey, here for a review!

Okay, this poem is really good, and I really enjoy the idea you brought up here, but in my opinion it leaves the reader guessing, a lot. Which, may not be a bad thing, but honestly, I think it would make a better short story or novel then poem. Though, you could still use the poem in your story so that you don't lose the ideas and the creativity and work you put into this.

"When my first heartbreak came

Is when I discovered

that love can be war

and also betrayal."

'Is' should be 'Was', but other then that, that was a great opening line, and it would be awesome as a first line to a short story, since it really captures the reader and makes them wonder what exactly it would be about.

None the less, this was a great poem. Keep up the good work

Hello, Willow here to give you another review!

I'm going to point out little things first.

When my first heartbreak came
Is when I discovered
that love can be war
and also betrayal.

She didn't think about him and I,

She hated everyone, but him.

Ooh. Interesting poem. Where to start?

The premise seems a bit cliche, the speaker's love interest falling for the vanity-driven popular girl. However, your metaphor for it, with love being war, was beautiful, and renewed the poem's freshness.

Sometimes the words seemed a bit clunky, like here:

When my first heartbreak came
is when I discovered

If you haven't discovered that love is war,
you will soon be fighting in it.