Young Writers Society

Hey dogs,
So I just thought of looking at your portfolio(did I get the right spelling) and the I come across this amazing work of yours.
This poem it's wonderful. It's sweet, beautiful, incredibly peaceful and so many other thing put to words. You know when I was a child my mom always used to tell me that after we die we go up to the stars and it just reminded me of it.
I love the childish feeling that you gave to the poem. I love the way it flows and the ending line is just like the cherry on the cake.

Never quit writing
Fangirl ~

Hello!
This was a strangely peaceful poem. I very much enjoyed it.
That said, it could be improved. I think much of this poem is cliche, but I understand the sentiments. I felt like I've read about how stars watch over everyone in lots of books.
But what makes this poem so wonderful was the special parts that you don't always see. I think those unique things can be found in the third and fourth stanzas.
I think the poem would be more unique if you could just expand on the idea that you become a star after you die, and the stars watch over. Not is such plain terms, but expand on it, make it beautiful. Involve a metaphor and rich images!
Also, the final line of your poem intrigues me. I think you should focus on the infinity of stars as well. I think these things would make your poem much more unique and interesting.
You want your poem to be memorable. If it's something the reader has heard before, they aren't going to remember it.
Otherwise, despite the lack of really rich imagery, this was technically very good.
Great job, keep writing!
~fortis

Hey there! WillowPaw1 here to review your work!

Nitpicks

you will receive the call, for when you will die.

but the stars are their watching over us, day and night.