Hello!
I really like this poem - it's nice and relaxing to read after a day doing schoolwork or some other hard thing. It's pretty - everyone can relate to this (I know I definitely can) because it is a sweet observation of what all children do. It is a very good reminder for me of when I was younger.
The last line is my favourite of all. I don't know why, but it reminds me of a book that I have in my house called "Mister God, this is Anna". Maybe because the sun is sometimes seen as a representation of God . . . but that's just how I read this line.
I also thought I'd quickly mention this one line, which I thought could maybe be tweaked a little bit:
"Until their parents say 'they're done'"
I think it's a nice line, but I think you could just try taking out one syllable, like changing the 'Until' to just 'till'. However, just remember, it's your poem, and that whatever you want to do is what you should do. This is just a suggestion.
Well done! I really enjoyed it!
Points: 152
Reviews: 67
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