Young Writers Society

Hey dogs, it's me fangirl( again)
So I guess I should start with saying stuff like how amazing you are and how I love your poem. But I won't because I guess you should know by now how amazing you are. Any way this work of yours was stunning(see I used another word )
And I completely agree to the fact that "things get better" no matter what.
You are really good at dividing the stanzas (at which I suck) and I would like to thank you for making rhyming look easy!!!

"Don't make life a waste.
Don't make life hard.
Instead make it easy.
Make it fun, make it count."
This according to me is the best stanza of your poem.

Never quit writing
Fangirl~

I love how positive this poem is. I also really like how some sentences keep coming back, like "that's just how it goes." It makes the message of the poem stick inside the reader's mind. I think you could change the punctuation at points to make it more fun to read. Like when you say:

"It's your life.
Make it good.
No, make it great.
That's just how it goes."

I'd say it like this:
"It's your life;
Make it good.
No, make it great!
That's just how it goes."

But that's just my opinion, tastes differ. Anyway, besides little things like that, I think you did a great job. It's a wonderful and upbeat poem.

Hi dogsrule5, Felistia here with a review on your poem.

First love the concept, it is very inspiring to me. I picked up on some rhymes spotted through out the work, whether this was intentional I don't know, but I like it none the less. It was like finding a toy in the cereal box when it came to the rhymes. Bad example, makes me look very young. The poem flows really well and is very easy to read.

If I had to nit-pick something it would be the over use of some words, but I am pretty sure that that was intentional, so just ignore me. The punctuation was perfect and didn't get tiresome and I think all the grammar is good, sometimes I miss something. Over all a really nice poem and I look forward to more of your work. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.

Hi fellow dog-lover (dogs do rule!), I have arrived at your reviewing party! I thought this was an optimistic look on life. It was heartening that you kept saying "it will get better". Just some little things that may (or may not) help your poem.

At the beginning, you made the first and third stanzas follow each other's format, in a way. I don't know if it was intentional, but it was cool-sounding, and I wish you had kept that going throughout the entire poem.

In the eighth stanza, when you say "Sometimes life takes you, / And unexpected way.", you might consider making it "Sometimes life takes you / an unexpected way." without the comma, and fixing the little spelling error.

In the tenth stanza, you say at the end "If it doesn't. / Well... that's sad." This made me think you were trying to put a little humor into a poem that I thought was supposed to instill hope into the reader's heart; hope that things might get easier (ooooh child, things are gonna get easier! Ooooh child, things will get brighter!- great song from a great movie ^^). This wasn't a problem, necessarily, but it might dim the bright light of this message if people think you're joking around. Just a little pointer!

Lastly, I think you could have shortened this, if you wanted to. Like I said above, you say similar things to "things will get better" fairly often, and if you are looking for a way to shorten it, condensing the similar stanzas will do that for you!

I really liked the message you tried to send, and it definitely came through. I hope you take your own poem to heart, and I hope others do to, because it will make people's lives happier! Great job!

~Caterpickle