Hi!!! (Whew it's been a while since I wrote a review, I need to do this more often)
By the way, thanks for tagging me on your wall!
This was a really fun work to read; it was really upbeat and I love how you leave the ending rather open so readers can decide for themselves who they think won! (Personally, I think it was you ) It was a short but sweet poem and I like your simple wording. It creates a nice simplicity to the poem, which is good especially because some writers tend to shove too much elegant wording into poems and they get difficult to comprehend. A great poem should have a blend of very descriptive imagery and more simple imagery and I think you did great with that!
I think most of the things that could be improved were already touched upon by other reviewers. There isn't much that needed to be fixed anyway as this was a great work!
For example, someone already talked about the capitalization and punctuation as well as the possible use of stanzas to help the poem flow better. This is a good suggestion and I second that. The poem seems to be alright stanza-wise but if you want to try separating some of the parts I think it could be helpful to the poem overall. Sometimes without stanzas the flow gets messed up, and a little separation could never hurt as long as you do it right. I suggest following the suggestions below! They did a great job of giving examples.
That's all I have (I know, I did a pretty bad job on this one but I'm a little rusty and also on a time crunch). All I have to say is awesome job, and keep up the great writing!!
Points: 2667
Reviews: 130
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