What is it that you live inside, irreplaceable?
What is extolled the most in myth and fable?
What does Kore's return to Earth enable?
What is brief yet forever, eternal yet unstable?
The world is cruel to this, humanity made it
A lot shorter and fleeting for we lost our wit
To pollution and waste, driving into the hell-pit
Just to meet bloody greed's demand-sheet.
A thousand pink petals lie there in our garden
As I write. The breeze might be still, even then,
It's there -- softly shaking our bonsais as a train
Passes by in the distance -- in pleasure or pain.
The Lavender Tree beside me is red like my blood;
Autumn strikes me dry and cold, like a sorrowful flood--
Yet I write and talk about this, as, through soot and mud
It blooms forth and sings and rings in the Sakura's bud.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
Thanks for the explanations in the mail (also I like that the poems still function if you don't get all the references. Just nice little easter eggs. Or big easter eggs for ppl that are actually immersed in culture)
And in this one, I really like the way you phrase the first two stanzas. Especially the line abt Kore intrigues me.
My first thought was something like Space or Time (even if we had that before) or Environment. But then... "humanity made it" hmmm
Aww I really like the tone shift in the last two stanzas. I like how peaceful it sounds, even if we know (from the other poems) of the underlying stress.
Thanks for the review once again, Tika! :p
This one's actually pretty simple, like, just googling the entire third line about Kore should be enough lol. Also, there's a reference to a certain anime (that I was watching at the time) in the first line. Also, the entire second stanza is one compound sentence broken up by enjambment, you will get a better hint if you consider it that way. Also also, both the third and fourth stanzas are entirely dedicated to the imagery associated with *it*.
Thanks again, keep reading! :p
Hi there!
So I get the feeling that this is possibly a spinoff or written by a character in a different story? I'm not active on here that often so I'm definitely behind on a lot of things. Anyways, this really reads like a journal entry by a character in a story and honestly, I like it. That, to me, gives it a layer of mysteriousness that I find intriguing. The beginning sounds like a riddle, which again, I found interesting.
My favorite part is:
"To pollution and waste, driving into the hell-pit
Just to meet bloody greed's demand-sheet"
Even if this is from a fictional story, I think we can relate and understand those lines in today's world. It hits and sadly rings true.
So no critiques, it's well done!
Best wishes,
FireSpyGirl
Thanks for the review, FireSpyGirl! It's a part of the anthology I am writing for #NaPoWriMo26 , you can check out the list of poems from the very beginning under Related Items in your right! :p