Sitting in the shadow

Hello! I've not got much to say that hasn't already been mentioned, so I'll keep this short. I really liked the language that you used. It made the poem seem like a fairytale but wasn't too overused. The story was interesting as well, although, if you could improve on one thing, I would definitely suggest that you add one more stanza. The ending was a bit sudden and I would have liked to have heard more about the man. That said, the last line was great and wrapped up the poem brilliantly. Keep writing!

Hello again!

I agree with the sentiment here, but there are some issues with the execution.

First of all, let's talk about ellipses. They're used in modern times to signal something trailing off. Also, if you use it, it makes whatever being said sound weaker. Useful in dialogue? Occasionally. Useful in poetry? Almost never. You're weakening the end of each stanza by adding ellipses, and that's a shame because you have a good amount to say here.

The beginning is quite dramatic, and while it informs the reader of what's going on, it doesn't make them feel any emotion about the character. Try easing the reader into it more, or use more relatable images. This feels like a fantasy setting. Bring it into a more 21st century setting by using things that people who live now are more familiar with.

I'm very confused about the stream running uphill. It's barely mentioned, but it should be mentioned more because it's so out of the ordinary.

Another thing you should spend more time on is his rebirth. You spend so much time on the low part, and it needs more of the high part to balance it out.

I hope this proves useful to you! Happy YWSing!

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin that poem has a tone behind it like grabbing life from the horns and not let it get in your way of what you are trying to do. Also at the end of this poem, the message of this poem could said as, you can choose what you do since you are the only one who makes the right chooses in life.

Nitpick(s):

Seeing that the figure in gloom

I really, really, really liked the rhyme scheme of this poem. It was the first thing that I noticed. I am not sure if that was intentional, but I am guessing that it was. I also liked the meaning a lot. It is something a lot of people realize sooner or later. You have to take charge of your own life and happiness. If you are feeling down, well, you have to do something about it. Sitting in the sidelines and in the darkness, just wondering why you are sad does not help in the least bit. Actually acting out and taking the bull by the horns will get you where you want to be. This is an excellent poem. If I were to rate it on a scale of one to ten, it would definately be a ten. Happy Writing!