My eyes don't aim to live forever,
Rather I would die time and again in course.
But each new life I would persevere,
with you my beloved, without curse or remorse.
.
This tantalizing cobweb of existence,
sticks many grief and hurt.
But dearest, this meaningless test of patience,
Only aims for your heart.
.
Many times did I cross this sights before,
From many a view, poor or prime.
But in every face I pass, and I am sure I shall pass many more,
Your resemblances I shall examine.
.
Your last breadth still reverberates, on my wrinkled arm,
And again I am tied to return,just to feel that heave once more.
We live together and die at many a storm
But our love is beyond right and wrong, bliss and sore.
.
I may have fallen for you the first, many a lives since,
When I was sickened, oppressed and cursed by solitude’s blow.
Past the richer and the poorer, from the beggar to my prince,
Each time I am dragged back, just to sneak another glance of Your brow...
.
The count of times you privileged to be a father,
Counts my motherhood too,
How many a children did burn our altar?
How many times did we realize this bonding true?
.
What bliss I might acquire to rest in peace and might?
Which wine could provide Love's thirst?
I would rather return, with a sinned plight.
And again I shall find my love, in this sinned world huge and vast.
.
Fragile moments count for lives that we spent,
And yet I desire to live many more.
We shall return again to this illustrious blend,
And return together like each occasion before…
.
My eyes don't aim to live forever,
Rather I would die time and again in course.
And again we shall return to this world deadly and severe,
once again to die togather without remorse...
[I have focused on the philosophy of rebirth, the lover rejects to rest in peace as he can never overcome the burning desire to return to this mortal existence simply to spend yet another life with his beloved]
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Review deleted due to being a copy of another's review.
Dear Author;
I would like to start by saying that I have been inactive for a while now and this is my first review since returning. To be honest I am glad that I get to make my first review on such an interesting piece. I enjoyed how it brought me into the story and led me to believe that this message was from beyond the earth. So let me start with some pros and cons.
There wasn't many cons/errors other than certain spots had a few grammar issues; however that is unavoidable in most poems. My only other comment is that you shouldn't of included the introduction in the very beginning; it led me astray from the poem itself.
The pros were over all huge; in other words there were way too many for me to include in this short review. However, I will still include the most important ones to me. First of all I honestly felt like you had died, wrote this poem, and then returned to the land of the living to share it with us. The flow of the poem made me feel like I was reading a short story that was full of love, romance, and mystery.
Do me a favor and continue writing these amazing poems. You have earned this review, my like, and even more unique a click of the follow button.Dear Author;
I would like to start by saying that I have been inactive for a while now and this is my first review since returning. To be honest I am glad that I get to make my first review on such an interesting piece. I enjoyed how it brought me into the story and led me to believe that this message was from beyond the earth. So let me start with some pros and cons.
There wasn't many cons/errors other than certain spots had a few grammar issues; however that is unavoidable in most poems. My only other comment is that you shouldn't of included the introduction in the very beginning; it led me astray from the poem itself.
The pros were over all huge; in other words there were way too many for me to include in this short review. However, I will still include the most important ones to me. First of all I honestly felt like you had died, wrote this poem, and then returned to the land of the living to share it with us. The flow of the poem made me feel like I was reading a short story that was full of love, romance, and mystery.
Do me a favor and continue writing these amazing poems. You have earned this review, my like, and even more unique a click of the follow button.
Truthfully The Truth
thank you very much. i would try to correct my cons and make it even better.
I like this work a lot. Not only is it appealing in a form of a poem but the words are there for more than a purpose to rhyme.
The way it's typed out reminds me of shakespeare speak, albeit slightly, but that's not a bad thing because I enjoy the little things like that in a poem. As for the words, some are rhymed a little oddly, like for instance in the fifth section it tries to rhyme blow with brow, and I'd have to read it as "bro" to make it work. It doesn't matter because phonetics are phonetics and the main thing I concentrated on the poem was exactly how it displayed the meaning behind it.
Philosophy is a neat thing, don't you think? It questions things other people don't and putting it into an art form much like this is a great idea. So long that it works, which it does in this poems case, the idea can impact the reader well.
Other than that, I can't find any other problems a poem would have, in my eyes it's a greatly put together poem.