Over the thorns of pain

Okay even this poem reminds of ZNMD! You seem to be a fan of Javed Akhtar

Hello! I'm short on time here so I'll make this quick.

Welcome to YWS~

So there were a lot of cliché images here combined with some less-trite metaphors; I honestly think you could do with weeding the cliché factor out. As it is, I'm not a huge fan of this poem, but I do see potential in your middle-ish lines where you make comments about lids being moist without reason and such. You can always experiment with imagery, maybe make the scene more real by giving us something more palpable to attach ourselves to rather than making vague gestures all over the place. Try focussing in on a scenario; tell us why the narrator's heart is 'crying'.

Nearing the end of the poem, your voice grows lax and I feel like it trails off without leaving an impact on the reader.

On the whole, though, this failed to interest me mostly due to the repetition. I can understand if you're trying to lay emphasis via repetition, but the fact is that it's not really working out; reading the piece gets monotonous. I also disliked the vague allusions to everything; it feels a lot like I'm scrolling through a cluster of purposeless images.

I'm not trying to sound harsh, but you can honestly do better. Try twisting clichés and giving them sparks of their own, vary your vocabulary, experiment with imagery! Repetition is not always your friend, remember. c:

I hope to see more from you soon. Let me know if you edit this piece and I'll be glad to give it a once-over~

Keep it up! Keep writing!

~Pomp

Aha! A great poem I came across. Shall I write a review? *tosses a coin*
Well, it's tails so I am gonna review it. Here I go!

It was good - really good! I personally really liked it. You poetry is really good. But there are a couple of things I'd say on this one.

First of all, the title of the poem is too vague. Believe me, I have seen hundreds and hundreds of poems, stories, novels, and articles with this particular word "Sorrow". It doesn't really attract people anymore, at least it doesn't attract me! So I would suggest you to choose a better and a title which looks more like a phrase.

The good thing about the poem was that you made it rhyme. Making it rhyme not only made me really like this poem but also it made it really sweet to read it aloud.

"Oh! This deep depth of darkness and silence

Has been evenly divided by time, have patience."

Why is the "Has" in capital? Since there was no period after "silence", I don't see any reason for "Has" to be in capital. Well, just my two cents.

The ending could have been made much better than repeating the same words like three times! Try writing something better to end the poem with than to repeating. I really loved every bit of the poem but the last stanza was a bit disappointing from a writer like you who is really brilliant.

Well, keep writing. Looking forward to see more of your works here. Cheers!

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. I like to begin on how in some parts of this poem have a end rhyming scheme, to set the idea smooth and well-written. Also how many people could relate since sorrow is an human's natural respond to anything that is sad or maybe something that lead someone else to make someone else cry (if that makes sense).

Nitpick(s):

phight i think it is suppose to -flight. Or maybe you are adding a poetic tone to this poem, and used the word -phight instead.

your lids are moist without reason this stanza is good but i think you should add something more to this poem, to give its own flavor. your lips are moist with a reason sounds better since reason could be a explanation of something or a reason why you are doing something.

Everyone has equal share of sunlight This is a little confusing since most people stay indoors inside for most of the time they do. But now that i think about what you mean, i think it means that everyone in the world could get their own piece of sunshine (wherever it might be.

My heart,why you cry" I think the quotation marks at the end of poem is not needed also here what it should look like my heart, why are you crying? since you asking why your heart is crying also since it needs to make sense.

All and all, this poem has it good points like the end rhymes to make the poem run smooth and well-written. Also how people could relate since, like i said above, sorrow is a natural instinct.

Farewell,
CapitalMonday