Hi Lightsong!
I am back again to review another one of your poems! Happy to be reading this one 
I am more impressed with this one than I was with the last! I feel like this one had a lot more direction - which was one of the things I really wanted to see in your previous poem as well. This one has the set up of them wanting to be students, and then living through the blood, sweat and tears that comes with that title before they realised what they had actually signed up for. And even though adulthood loomed over them, they were blind as to what it would include (I really believe a lot of people can relate to that!) and in a twisted way they loved being students until it drove them into the ground and died. Such a sinister, twisted poem. I loved the chilling feel to it and the resounding effect the isolated end stanza had. Perfect ending <3
All of us loved the title ‘students’
as the first image that intruded our mind
was a bunch of kids
with white uniforms and black trousers
studying in the class, having
an impenetrable stare
on their hundred-page workbooks.
I had a few issues with the first stanza. It has to do with the wording like it did with your previous poem. I would have much appreciated it being turned into prose just to get the wording right, and then back into a poem again. So for example the second line here shouldn't start with as, but instead with 'because' seeing as you are giving an explanation/reason as to why they loved that title. Also, instead of 'in the class, having', it should be ' in the class, who had' seeing as this poem is in past tense. We need to stay consistent with the tense! Oh, and after the word stare I would add in 'pinned' after it, just to make it more descriptive and improve the flow of the stanza all the more.
I like that we get to see their misconception about what it means to be a student before they have to become one themselves. Trust me, I can definitely relate to that feeling. Telly shows make it seem so easy these days. Like you have all the free time in the world after school and just amble from classroom to classroom carrying one or two thing books.
with teachers wielding the power of god
to spoil us with homework, and homework
and homework
as they were our lasagnas and orange juices.
A small thing, but seeing as 'god' is a religious thing, it should always be capitalised because it is a name. This goes whether you actually believe in God or not, btw ^.^
Also, what I failed to see was the connection to homework being like lasagnas and orange juices? Please, do explain to me what you meant by this in a reply
But just for the sake of the poem, maybe make an easier comparison as to what homework was like? Because I don't think I'll be the only reader who will misunderstand this. I would recommend something like: and homework, as if it was the food and water we needed to survive. they never showed us
the forest of thorny branches and savage beasts
where we were going to live as adults
Small English kind of correction, but the last line could be 'where we would live as adults,' so it flows better. Or even better, 'where we would have to live as adults.' That little word 'have' implies that they have no say in the matter whatsoever and makes it sound like even if they figured out where they would be going and didn't want to end up there, it is where they would be forced to live anyway.
because they knew the forest was dangerous
and we did not have to get used to it.
I wasn't sure I understood this line right? Because if they were going to have to live in the forest, then it means they would have to get used to it, at some point. All we know is that the teachers aren't showing it to them because they don't want to scare their students away from succeeding at their studies. So maybe change things up somehow to bring across that meaning in those two lines?
and we kept the teachers sing to us
their loud song
to break our ears
Because of the way you worded these lines I get the impression 'made' fits better than 'kept' in line one. I would put a comma at the end of that line as well. I wasn't sure why they needed to sing, but is it because they needed something to soothe their thoughts of failure and exhaustion to keep them going? If that's the case, then there need to be a few more lines to explain that purpose. Because although I liked the imagery of teachers singing away the worries of their students, I didn't understand why it was there. Explanation is key here
Another thing I really loved about this poem had to be the imagery. Portraying adulthood as this forest full of beasts that they were going to have to get used to alone and live through, as well as the fact that their brains were being filled with rocks and the classrooms were welcoming, happy cells - all of that was so vivid and nicely described that it made me a happy reader. Keep it up with the imagery.
I'm looking forward to reading more of your works. I have seen so much good stuff so far
Deanie x
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