You hear nothing, not even
a trace of life.
.
But you do hear
your lonely heart,
beating for the sake of
living, and
rasps of the night,
the invisible entities.
You wonder in fear,
are they real?
.
The cold strips you bare,
making you shiver.
It freezes your hopes.
The whispers haunt again.
No one is there for you.
It is true.
.
You need to blame someone.
He takes everything away.
.
Bravery is no more with you.
There is no purpose for its existence
when the dead night accompanies you
and no one keeps you warm.
.
Silence sucks your life, bit by bit.
Wonderful memories are alone.
You keep them safe under the ground.
When they show themselves, they hurt.
Where is he who makes me laugh?
Where is she who cries with me?
.
The whispers keep coming back.
No one for you, no one with you.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
138,374 Literary Works • 672,110 Reviews
This poem flows well, and the concept is lovely. You have a great poetry voice! It's a little strange how the verses are different lengths, but okay for this piece. And the ending seems fitting and finalized. Overall, interesting poem, it just doesn't stand out and there isn't much to say.
Good luck!
~Authorian
This is one scary poem I have ever read. This poem is good and its psychological. My favorite part:
"The cold strips you bare,
Making you shiver.
It freezes your hopes.
The whispers haunt again.
No one is there for you.
It is true."
And also:
"Bravery is no more with you.
There is no purpose for its existence
When the dead night accompanies you
And no one keeps you warm"
Somehow, these are connected to my experiences. It doesn't happen to my conscious, but in my unconscious cause I sometimes have sleep paralysis, which is really scary. Every time when I have it, I always thought it was real. Then all the sudden, I hear voices, strange noises...but what is more scary is when your body is being paralyzed. Cause you couldn't move and you couldn't even speak cause your throat is being choked so that's scary.
Over all, the poem is really great. It give me a scare and I hope I can read more of your work
It's pyschological, eh? Never thought of it that, always thought it was just the kind of silence people didn't want. Thanks for your review, anyway!