The Red Hand Came Out // Pt. 1

Holding a packet of cigarettes, Johan recalled his encounter with Walid yesterday. It had been more than a year since they met each other; they were classmates before that. Walid wasn’t a close friend to Johan, but he was the only friend who had looked in on him. Johan appreciated that a lot since he took care of the bookstore alone.

Walid looked handsomer than usual. He had abandoned his straight, long hair and replaced it with a more stylish shorter hair. His hair went from black to pale brown at the end; something that wasn’t surprising since he was of Arabic descendant. Being an Afghani, he also had a fair skin, straight nose and pearly white teeth.

Johan could drool if he imagined Walid smiling in a suggestive way. Then, he mentally shook his head. It wasn’t good having a feeling for your friend, worse when it was from a boy to another, the worst when the crush was heterosexual. Johan sighed. He didn’t know what to do. Thank God Walid’s manner didn’t match his appearance. If it did, Johan was sure he would mark Walid as a perfect boyfriend candidate. As it was, Walid could be infuriating and insensitive sometimes.

Johan mentally shook his head again. It wasn’t good to think negatively on others. He placed the cigarettes on the dining table after his father exited the toilet, donning a dark green towel. ‘Here’s the cigarettes, Father,’ said Johan, pointing at the cigarettes with his thumb, aware that using other fingers would be seen as rude. ‘I’m going out to the community’s library.’ He adjusted the strap of his bag and turned away from Father.

‘Why do you want to go there? Do you get something from it?’ asked Father with a booming voice.

Johan could hear the cigarettes unpacked and felt Father’s eyes on him. He mentally sighed; doing it literally would be seen as unrespectful. He looked back at Father. ‘I’ve to return the novels. The deadline is today. If I’m late, I have to pay for it.’ His voice was informatory.

Father scowled. ‘Why you read those useless books I’ll never know. Well,’ he said, taking a seat and focusing on lighting the cigarettes, ‘off you go.’

‘Okay, I’m going,’ replied Johan, feeling it was obligatory to tell his parent what he was going to do.

Out of the house, he realized he felt subdued today. He leaned back against the wooden door a minute, hoping to regain the energy that was supposed to be with him in the first place. This feeling of minor tiredness always happened whenever he decided to go out somewhere. Perhaps it was because he preferred to lie lazily on the bed reading a novel (or playing the smart phone or using the laptop). He was quite a passive young man, one that didn’t mind spending hours doing things that only required him to sit or lie.

He smiled. His room didn’t have air-conditioner; the library had. Perhaps he could sleep there at his table? The supervision wasn’t strict; indeed, the guard usually sat at his counter near the entrance, whereas he would be upstairs sitting at a corner with an air-conditioner on his head. He had prepared a sweater in case the air was too cold. Starting the engine of his motorcycle, Johan continued planning for his activity in the library.

Thank God you’ve gotten rid the horrible model hairstyle! It didn’t suit you at all! Walid remembered Johan’s words upon seeing him yesterday a little too well. He had laughed on that exclamation; Johan’s unrestrained expression was refreshing to see. He couldn’t bear seeing the solemnity pasted on the faces of his family members. It was part of the reason why he liked to get out of the house a lot.

The other part was related to the future of his education. After failing quite horribly in Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia (STPM), also known as Malaysian Higher School Certificate, he had been looking for a sponsor to cover his education. He was also looking for a job, in the mean time. Living in an affluent major township like Taman Tun Dr. Ismail came with a price - a high one. He didn’t mind helping his dad in terms of financial.

Just when he was about to escape his mundane home, his sister Aishah ran across the lobby to him. She adjusted her scarf upon arriving and gave Walid the paper she had been holding in her hand. ‘Walid, I want you to check in the community library if it had the books in this list. I’ve written it yesterday. Do this or I’ll tell Mum you’re the worst brother ever.’ She crossed her arms, looking like a boss.

‘Okay, fine,’ replied Walid, rolling his eyes. Aishah could be demanding sometimes, a trait attributed to their mother. And Aishah was his parents’ favourite child, being their only daughter and the youngest child. They also thought it was okay to spoil her when she was still in her childhood. Walid couldn’t find the logic in that, but he understood what it felt like to have someone you desired for a long. He himself was still looking for The One.

He looked at the list written on the torn-out paper. Ten books. He scratched his head. Checking all of them seemed like a way to drain one’s energy. ‘This is a lot. I thought you can only borrow three?’

Aishah closed her eyes and sighed. She shook her head, laying her hand on her chest. ‘Oh my silly brother,’ she said pitifully. ‘Your ignorance, as troublesome as it is, merits an explanation. Yes, it is a lot - for you, not for me. The library won’t have all of them - it’s that lacking - but at least you’ll find three. Or four. Or five. Just pick the first three you’ll find.’ She raised her eyebrow. ‘Understand?’

‘Oh yes, Your Majesty,’ answered Walid, bowing his head to match with Aishah’s dramatization. ‘I’ll be back before the sun comes out from the West!’ He exited the place’s perimeter after hearing her giggling. Thank God I don’t have anything to do this Sunday, he thought, wondering how he would refuse his sister another day. One of those times, he would’ve had to act strict with her. And now to the library!