Hi Labrador,
This was well written, as mentioned below this review, the flow needs work but it's nothing major.
I think right off the bat though, it shouldn't have ended with a question. It should have ended with you justifying to yourself why you fell into the world of temptation, pretending that it was the right choice all along. Or that it was your old friend coming to find you again, something along those lines. I feel it would have been a stronger finish, who cares what we think. The character depicted needs to fall back into temptation or triumph against it. Either way ending with a few words defining all of that. If that all makes sense
The concept of temptation and addiction is a really strong one and it is even stronger if you know what you're talking about. The symbols you can portray and the emotions you can try and define is always really powerful. If you write more about this theme I would love to read it.
Nice Work,
LMJ
Points: 204
Reviews: 46
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