The gray clouds pour raindrops to the diligent farmers,
cleaning them from
their sadness.
The young boy stares at the river,
Its surface reflects
his weakness
and strength.
The birds nest in the firm tree.
As the hunter aims his arrow to the flying bird
with its sky-wide freedom,
envy seeps into him.
Cooperation sets the ants in lines,
while doubt and distrust
scatter humans.
Human's anger is feeble compared to
the mountain's
erupting lava.
The sky is a curtain of serenity,
while the birds are agents
of peace.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hello there Labrador! CelticThunder1438 here to review your work. Or Selina if you prefer. =)
First off let me just say that I liked this poem, and what you were trying to get across. The only thing is that it was a little choppy and didn't have any rhythm...If you read it out loud you'll know what I mean. All in all it was pretty good, just it was a little choppy.
As people have said before, it reminded me of the Hunger Games =P
Anyways, keep writing!! You could go far!
~CelticThunder1438 (Selina, or Seliter)
i like the juxtaposition you used in this very well written poem. It looks as if grammar is pretty good, the only thing I would say grammar wise is commas, your commas are off in some places, but i'm not going to go back and point them all out. Other than that, a very good concept and as Reet said, longer! Seeing more to this poem would be very good.
HI
I'M new here
I just wanted to state that this poem is the first I've read on this sight and it was truly inspirational, totally loved it , I'd love to see more awesome poems on this sight!
Hey.
Pleaseee, okay yes yayy.
This was great AND it somehow reminded me of the Hunger Games forest xD But that's good.
No glitches, because I didn't look hard. Make readers love your composition, make them go on and want more.
Another thing, lengthen this, I want to see more of it
Good job.
Keep writing and stay blessed.
xoxo
HI.
I'M NEW HERE!
I thought that was a great poem . It reminds me of my homeland..I look forward to reading more great poems.