Crystal clear and
untainted taste
or lacks of it
it bathes in
your thirsty mouth.
Without it
you cannot live.
I love to see when
greedy kids go for it
but as they grow
all of you just
shove it force it
into their mouths.
Once it is medicine
and now you make it poison.
It is best to drink when
you need it hungry for it
and not when you
are full and cannot
take anymore of it.
Slow and steady
to avoid fatality.
So please go back to
the way it was
sips it to them with
gentle care utmost love
like a caring gardener
watering his flowers
to let them grow and not
make them wilt.
The best for them is not
always what you think.
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140,752 Literary Works • 673,686 Reviews
Wow! I love this!
It was a bit hard to follow towards the middle. And when you say "I love to see when greedy kids go for it", what are you talking about? I love the way you think. I love the way poetry can describe something but not mention it, like Robert Frost. This poem was a bit harder to understand what the "Object" of the story was. I enjoyed it, though. Keep up the good work!
-Waffle
Hi. I like your poem but I have to say that the first stanza is a bit....ambiguous. It isn't giving the message clearly that you want to give. Aside from that, it's a nice poem. You have potential.
Hello, priceofwords here!
Wow, this poem was very cool, with an intriguing concept. I don't think I have ever come across a writer who explores the ways in which knowledge is given to youngsters, feeding them when they have no desire to be fed instead of leaving them to find it by themselves. This idea is very original, and will therefore attract a lot of readers, so well done for an awesome idea!