I am trapped in a cell,
Being consumed by darkness.
Pray pray pray every night,
But never an answer.
No one comes,
No one helps,
No one comforts.
I am trapped in a cell,
Swallowing into sadness and despair.
Cry cry cry every night,
But never an answer.
No one hugs,
No one loves,
No one talks.
I am trapped in a cell,
Where I feel nothing but loneliness.
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139,556 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Yo! Kanome
It was a very interesting poem. The mood is so dark and while reading this I felt nostalgic because I've also been in this state of sadness, feeling that there's no one for you.. it was dark and empty. I'll suggest that you continue to make a good/dark poem. I really liked this. I'm not good at making review but I'm good at appreciating things like this poem.
Hi Kanome!
Very sad poem, I think you managed to convey the emotion well here.
The repetition of 'no one':
No one comes,
No one helps,
No one comforts
is good and works well to show the hopelessness of the mood.
I'd suggest maybe losing the word 'Being' on Line 2, as I think the poem would be more effective without it. Just snappier and more engaging somehow.
And at the end maybe just:
'Feeling nothing but loneliness'
for your last line? I think that shortening it slightly keeps the reader more engaged and the rhythm is better. But these are just minor edits. It's up to you, of course!
I thought that this was easy to relate to and very well expressed. An effective piece of work. Hope my suggestions are OK and good luck with your writing!
Hey there, Kanome!
Firstly, I just want to say how great this is, good job! 
This was almost lyrical, with the repeating of three words and "every night" on the end, which had a good effect on the poem, good job!
There's a few little improvements you could make however... changing:
"Swallowing into sadness and despair."
Into...:
"Swallowed into sadness and despair."
I think that would sound better, personally.
Also, perhaps you could break up your last line a bit, just to add more effect and a punch to the end. So maybe...:
"Where I feel nothing
but loneliness."
Just a simple break like that can make all the difference. Great work! I loved the title for one thing, that drew me in, and the content was just marvelous. Fabulous job!
-CFG
Thank you x3