E - Everyone

The story of a 6-year-old.

Author's Note: My sister wrote this just now, and I felt the need to post it c: So don't judge too harshly on this piece. She's only six xD

I like dad because he givesme and xaviarand zaydan beef jerkies.

Mom gives me a cookies.

With milk.

Candybars and xaviargivesme money.

I loveall them.

I love my family.

Comments & reviews · 9
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User avatar
speakerskat
Review

Kat reviewing again for Team WHY?

I had to read this after just reading the other one . AWWWWS how sweet tell her we love her work and want to see more. She is going to be a fine writer . Just something though, might have been a computer glitch but please put spaces between words and capitalize names, it just makes it easier to read. Comparing this to her other poem she has grown a lot ! This reminds me so much of myself . Her word placement still needs some work "I love Them All" might sound better but like I said it's just cruel to correct something so innocently cute <3

~Thanks for sharing
Kat

User avatar
DeltaEcho
Review

Hey there, Kanome (and your little sister)! For a six-year-old, this is actually pretty good. I laughed some and overall this is great. There are some spelling mistakes, but that's expected considering how young she is. I think that she has good potential to become an excellent writer. I also think that it is very nice of you to post this for her.

Hasta la vista,
DeltaEcho

User avatar
ThereseCricket
Comment

This is awesome! Tell your sister that I think she has an incredible start! :D

User avatar
Markontheworld
Comment

Kano-chan!!!!! I think it was too short, but I don't care I love it!!!!! Pun intended!!!=^_^=

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Panda11
Comment

I LOVE IT

User avatar
Pinkiegirl13
Review

Hi, Kanome. This is Pinkie here for a review. I will try not to hurt your little sister's feelings. Okay, let's do this.

This is silly poem. I actually giggled on this poem. It is pretty funny! XD Tell your sister that she is a good, humorous poet. I will give this poem a 'like'. Anyway, I will do the nitpicks for your little sister. I hope she will not cry for this.

Let's Nitpick!!!

"Candybars and xaviargivesme money."

"I loveall them"

"I like dad because he givesme and xaviarand zaydan beef jerkies."

Maybe you can space the words out for a bit. Nothing is bad about it. Just need to space some words a little.

Overall, this is a cute poem. I like to read more from you including your sister. I hope you write more. Have a great night, you two.

Good Job and Keep on writing! :D

Cheers

Your reviewer, Pinkiegirl13

Haha, she is following my footsteps xD

User avatar
Sassafras
Comment

I love Button oh my god <3



Look, a good poem is a poem that exists. Any poem you write is better than the poem you don't.
— WeepingWisteria