Goodbye, friend.

Hello Kanome!

Happy Review Day after all!

I am ILoveBooks!

Here I am to review your short but wonderful and relatable poem!

This might be short but I know this can relate to other people and get them interested to this poem because seriously most of us experience it. Seriously people had gone through this experience after all. It so sad that the person who we care the most and love the most left. It's hard to move on actually. I have to tell you I experience it so bad. And it so hard

Even if we found this super short but if you read it carefully and slowly with deep feelings. You can find the true meaning of the story.

Some criticism for your poem:

First, your punctuation marks. Be careful about this. This is one of the most important thing in a poem. This is more important that rhyming things. So be careful with that. Think for a while and ask yourself if this is right or you need to add more of something.

I like to find the result for your other poems.

Second, Even if I told you above that punctuation marks is the most important thing. You can still look for your rhythm words.

Third, The length. Maybe you should add more for us the readers to know what really happen. But not too long. We just need a summarize description. Just write a poem that has the right length.

But to be honest. I rarely find a poem that this short. And it was wonderful.

Relatable. Well written. Can't find any grammar that is wrong.

Continue writing! You inspire a lot of people already with your poem. Bravo!

-ILiveBooks123

This poem can relate to a lot of people. While it is short, the words make up for it. This poem is relatable because everyone had gone through this. Whether people like to admit or not we have all lost someone whom we used to be super close to. It's really hard to get over that sometimes, and I think if you dig deep in this poem you can find that.

Just a nitpicky thing that I see.

1. The punctuation is a little confusing to me. There are commas scattered everywhere, and a period her and there. My suggestion would be to read through your poem out loud and ask yourself "Does this really need to be here?"

Somethings I loved about this poem

1. The length. While it's short the meaning got across and that's amazing. Also, I think that sometimes when a poem is shorter more people gravitate to it, but that's just a thought of mine.

2. I liked how relatable it was. When I read this I had a name going through my head. The name was of someone I had lost. I think that it's vague enough, but also descriptive enough. I know that that sentence sorta contradicted each other, but it's true!

Keep writing bro.

~ #41

Hey there Kat here to review . Sorry for any typos I'm reviewing in my phone !

This caught my attention because I lost a good friend just yesterday and it hurts a lot but I feel like after reading this poem there as never really anything there in the first place for the writer . S/he just wanted a friend and it didn't work . I still like how it was relatable but it seemed really bland and lacked description to really tug at someone's emotions . That said it was still a very great poem good grammar and spelling and it kept a constant theme and flow

Keep it up
~Kat

The poem is short, but If you read properly, You realise there's a deeper meaning to it.
It seemed that you tried to make that person your friend desperately, then your best friend but failed to do so. The concept is really good, but I wish your poem was a bit long.
It's touching. Next time, try to write a big poem.

Hello!
First of all, I think it would be better if you were consistent in the time of your verbs. You usually use the past simple, so I think you should change all present simples to past simples. These are 'try' and 'lose'. So that would become 'tried' and 'lost'.

Secondly, I think the rhythm of your sentences could be a little better. For instance the first sentence, I think it would be better if you leave 'that' out. This way the first two lines sound way more natural. The sentences "No matter how hard I try, you were never around." sound a little bit vague, but maybe you meant it this way. Being around isn't the same as being a friend, so I think you could change it, for instance to "No matter how hard I tried, you never seemed to care."
The rhythm seems a little better there as well. But hey, it's up to you. If you like it this way, I haven't said anything n_n

And finally I would like to say I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you'll feel better soon. I know what it's like to lose a friend, even a potential one. It hurts like hell.
In my language, we say 'sterkte' when we want someone to feel better. This means, literally, 'strength'. So I wish you all the strength you need. Sterkte.