Which is better?
Used or abused?
I think both.
Considering that, the feeling is unbearable.
Worse and worse everyday,
feeling trapped,
with no escape,
with no one to turn to.
My feelings are trapped inside,
chained inside my broken heart.
No one can open it,
no one can reveal my true self.
Seeing the outside and inside of me,
both are different.
Outside, I am always smiling,
but inside, I am sitting in a dark corner.
Alone.
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140,397 Literary Works • 673,156 Reviews
Hi there! Lucrezia here for a review, as requested.
This was so good! The imagery is fantastic and the emotion is quite clear. It was sad and intriguing. The wording was great. Really, I loved it.
I have no nitpicks, so I'll point out the parts I especially liked instead.
Love this; it's so tragic yet beautiful.
This is very relatable and simple, yet worded so nicely. Great job.
This is my favorite part. The perfect ending.
Well done and keep writing!
Wow, I think your poetry is amazing. It's a very dark poem but it related well to me and I'm sure a lot of other reader. This is a poem gets me thinking. It is shown well as an argument to back up your answer to the question you asked. The ending is what spoke to me the loudest because of the truth behind it. I really enjoy your work.
Keep writing,
- leahwoodhouse
Hi there Kanome! Okay, so. I'm a pretty picky poetess, particularly when it comes to poems that are of the depressive nature, since it is so oft discussed and it happens to be something to which I can personally relate. Therefore, my review may be a tad bit critical.
You play with very tired concepts here - feeling trapped, a broken heart, being unable to be yourself. In approaching these subjects, you really have to come at them from your own angle. Otherwise, they may seem disingenuine to those who are perpetually digging through angst-ridden poetry forums. This poem just doesn't come off as individualistic or special. It's too blank, too broad, and it's all been done before. I think if you really incorporated the details of your own life, it could add a relateable side to this that it's currently lacking.
I hope this helps, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask. Keep writing, and best wishes. xxx
Thank you. And it's alright. Every writer gets tough critic reviews once in a while. c:
Hey kanome
Congratulations! An amaaazing poem.
It is full of meaning.
The dullness in the poem portays the sadeness and loneliness beautifully.
The feeling of being trapped, ahh, I got the emotions.
Keep writing more of this kind!
All the best
- Krish
Hello Kanome!
I can honestly relate to the message that you are providing to the reader. I know what it feels like to walk around and everyone sees you one way, but really you are someone completely different on the inside. And that person on the inside is literally slowly dying because of deprivation, I seriously get that. This poem is my whole life, as much as I hate admitting that, this poem really hits home with me.
This poem also reminds me of a drawing that I made not too long ago when I was really down. Actually its the quote:
"but inside, I am sitting in a dark corner.
Alone."
But in the picture that I drew there's a girl who is sitting in the corner of a dark room with her head to her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs. That is the second thing I thought of.
I really liked this poem and I'm glad that you wrote it so I was able to read it.
-Emily