Humanity

I very much like this. It reminds me of my first poem on this site. I do know from experience because I like to write poetry like this that is contradictory that sometimes we can get onto a rant and forget about the poetic or 'pretty' side of things. Even though many poems are not 'pretty' in content, they all need a poetic quality to define them.
You successfully did this through the use of rhythm. You wrote a long line followed by a short and blunt line which did well. Near the end you need to be cautious because some of your short lines got a bit long which took away the impact for example:

When we think we have it.

Hi. I really liked your poem. I do think it is a good description of the human race in general. It is also straight to the point but at the same time makes you reflect on your own behavior. I wonder what you mean by "As we dwindle to a point of no return." I do like the phrase but I am not sure I fully understand. If I can give one small suggestion, it would perhaps be to add more emotion to your poem. It is a rather controversial subject and perhaps, expressing anger for instance, might make it stand out just a little. Otherwise I really liked it, keep it up

I hope you don't mind if I review your poem.

This poem is, honestly, hard to read, not because of any inherent flaws in its structure, but because it forces the reader to look at himself in a critical light. That's not a bad thing! I love how you touched on the theme of hypocrisy in the human race. It's a virulent quality in today's world, and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. You really touched on that hopelessness in your poem. And, in reading it, the reader is forced to examine his own hypocrisy. To me, the best poems are the ones that lead to self-reflection, and yours certainly does.

If I had anything to suggest, I would suggest adding more imagery. This would give the reader something of a more concrete image to make the theme of hypocrisy more vivid.

Once again, you did an excellent job! I hope to read more of your poems!

This a brilliant poem! I completely agree with your frame of mind on humanity. This reminded me of the Michael Jackson song "Man in the Mirror" what was it... Oh yeah... "If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make the change"
I love this line"We see the injustice and we speak,But we won’t do." simply because it is so true. The human race is stubborn. We refuse to change and see our faults!

However, I do agree with aouther2b your poem didn't flow. It was a sort of start stop poem like she said......

But any who I really enjoyed it! It opened my eyes!! And I will make sure I look out for more of your work in the future!!

This is amazing. Not because of the way you worded it, not entirely because of your talent...but because it was so TRUE. In order to look at someone else and say: 'You're doing this wrong', you must first look at yourself and ask: 'What am I doing wrong?' The same goes for the entire world. Broken people can't fix a broken planet. Awesome poem...too bad everybody else isn't on the same page.

I always hate this-I read an excellent poem but I can say nothing about it and there are far too many comments for me to have anything to say.
But here, this really doesn't need improvement. But I would suggest for more punch you actually make it like a person is doing it.
For example-
I look myself in the eyes-do people even try to be them.
Instead of conforming what is expected of them.
Something like that for more punch-but the piece itself is good for I believe that humanity is lost and its days are numbered.
Cheers, CardDragon

Hi there. This is a really good and intresting piece.

What I liked:
1. The idea. You have an intresting perspective on humanity. While some may not agree with it I think you did an amazing job and presenting your idea with the wording you chose.

What I didn't like:

Before I start this I hope you don't feel as if I'm attacking you since I only put one thing I liked. I will tell you now I quiet enjoyed this piece, but rather than posting the particular lines I thought I would continue with the review. (okay now I feel like I'm rambling)

1. The flow. Due to the amount of punctuation used I feel like this was a very start and stop poem. It wasn't very smooth flowing. While punctuation is important and often necassary, over punctuating can have a negative effect.

2. The Imagery. Or lack there of. I think with such a strong topic and great emotion behind it, you could inhance by putting an image in the reader's mind on just how poor our humanity is.

Overall. Great Poem. I wouldn't change a word because the ones you have get the point across great. Just look back at the flow and at how you can make the reader visualize what your trying to say, it may help them understand your point of view better.

My, my. What an interesting poem you have here. As April said, it is beautiful and breath taking. I agree as well.
I agree with the message you that you are sending here. The world and humanity itself is no longer in its shifting state. It is and forever will be in a constant limbo of stalemate. Kudos to you for spreading that message in a beautiful poem such as this.
My favorite verse was,
"We are not the change we wish to see," It explains the main theme of the poem and I absolutely love that. Please, continue to write wonderful poems, or whatever you may have to offer to The Young Writers Society.
Keep up the great work.

I absolutely love this! You did a very wonderful job on it. It's beautiful, I'd like to say breath-taking. It's so true, as well. It speaks to me. I love the line "There is no such thing as principles,
When there is power." All people care about now is power, whether it's through the suffering of others, through popularity, or through rankings in a job.
The part about "We can never change the human race, We cannot even change ourselves." is beautiful and reminds me so much of my family and friends. They always say how they're going to change the world, yet they can't make a simple change to themselves.

I rate this a 10/10.