How to poetry in bathos

This was a fairly good poem, but I have to agree with the others. Sorry, the symbolism wasn't very good. It was a bit confusing, but I think that if you keep working on symbolic poetry, you will write better. I, personally, don't think you should have added the second you. The repeated you adds to the poem, yes, but it doesn't feel like it should be there. It was an okay poem, but keep working on it.

Hi there. Ariana with your review. So I have to agree with the other reader. The symbolism was not particularly clear. However, that did not make this a "bad' poem. Sure, it was rather confusing, and I think that maybe you should work on that. However, despite the overall confusion, you did get the idea of symbolism down flat. I really liked the opening. It was very descriptive and it painted a picture for me. The whole poem is full of imagery, but I think the first stanza was my favorite. Other than that, j have no further comments. Keep up the good work.

I think I missed the point of the symbolism. I liked the first line of the second stanza, but by the end of the poem I was still lost as to who's talking and what their message is saying (aside from the line noted). I wonder if that's just me, though.