Fishing

Hey Hero!

Shady here with a review for you this fine evening. c:

I liked this, quite a bit, actually. Your imagery is chilling. But it's discreet, as well. When I saw that this was under 'horror', and saw that the title was 'Fishing', I figured that a fisherman was going to either get killed or get mutilated-- or his lover was going to get killed or get disfigured. I don't know why, but suicide never crossed my mind.

I didn't fully understand the poem the first time I read it, but then I read it a second time, and was like "O.O Oh." when I did get what it meant. So that's good. It was one of those 'happy that you get it, yet shocked that you missed it the first time' sort of feelings-- one that makes a reader (me at least) read this several times more, to fully visualize the imagery you used. And I'm glad I did. It's better each time I read it!

Your pacing and rhythm is nice, so is your rhyme scheme. It's prominent and gives you a nice flow, but isn't obnoxious-- so, well done all around. Quite a nice poem. c:

Keep writing!

~Shady

I love this. This is really a great piece of work and I hope you post a lot more like it. I love the way you describe the girls death, it's very captivating.

Very interesting theme...

To me, this kind of describes the cycle of depression. You're sinking deeper, and you manage to save yourself from drowning, and you rejoice for a moment over the tiniest portion of happiness, but others can't recognize the magnitude of what goes on inside.

It's a type of behavior usually found in people who are bi-polar.

But like previously said, the rhymes do feel kind of forced at times. In this poem, the rhyming falls kind of secondary, since there's something a lot more interesting being told with along the theme.

Keep writing, don't keep the faith!

I really like this, but I feel that you're being limited by your rhyme scheme and I agree with Story Weaver. It may be that it doesn't even need to rhyme as the content itself is very deep and is worthy of a poem in itself.

This was pretty deep, but the rhythm *is* lacking here and there, and you lost the rhyme scheme a couple of times. Tweak it a little and this will be a great poem.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver