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139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
Hey,I love it.Its amazing.
The irrationality of us is not
the conundrum of life and death;
it’s the cries that think
they can bring life to the dead.
It’s the moments floating in your head
thinking that there’s something left
in the emptiness of houses.
This last line are awesome
This poem has such a dark imagery... I like it. It's interesting and mysterious.
"After funerals, people are found
deep inside the cavities of ourselves
and meaningless flesh belongs to dirt;
until we believe there cannot be a god."
That's exactly my cup of tea, but I there's one problem. You spelled "god", not "God". To which god do you refer? You know, people can get insulted with that kind of poetry, so watch out for that (Not me, I'm agnostic). Anyway, this poem is not for everyone so I get it, people should understand it doesn't mean something offensive, but speaks the truth.
Good job, I'd like to read more from you. Keep writing!
~Bard
Hi ImHero,here is Dark to give review on your poem.
First of all,this is such a nice poem to read.It is kind of 'dark' when you use some words like death,etc.Also I can see here that the rhythm of your poetry with the language conventions, is carefully arranged to evoke meaning. Thus making people able to capture the meaning.The words are familiar, but requires deep contemplation. That is, the reader seems to be invited to reflect on the meaning of each verse.This poem is more suggestive (suggesting language and influence the mind reader) and associative (can evoke thoughts and feelings to the reader).
#The irrationality of us is not
the conundrum of life and death;
it’s the cries that think
they can bring life to the dead.
It is quiet hard to understand the whole context of your poem,but I am sure,there is something hiding behind the words you use here.
Keep it up and good job.
~Cheers,kudos
Dark.
Hey there
You have created an unusual poem that sounded great with your comparison.
I understand since writers do bring out the deepest thoughts and emotions that an ordinary person cannot convey. How beautiful.
And yes, we are not usually heard and more often we are treated as not so important.
The only thing I could criticize is how you break your lines properly. Most of the times, it sounded a bit off, you know. . All in all, great job! Keep it up.