Before I begin I know this probably wont' be good because it is indeed just my emotions splayed on a page. I thought I would get it out there though.
Rushing streams
wake my subconscious
from it's colorful paintings.
Memories of why
I'm awake again
control my movements.
New messages?
Yes...
a flooded mind leads to tears.
Together?
Or not?
Not.
Eyes stare
eyes read
mind closes.
Does it click?
No.
Minds change, appology accepted.
Next night,
together?
No.
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Canary word: Present
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I thought that this was very confusing and although it was nice it needs a lot of work. I am interested to see what you will do next time but this just wasn't it.
It actually surprises me that you haven't yet written a poem regarding this. Did you dump that guy for good yet? I seriously think you should if you haven't already. If he's not sure whether or not he wants you, you're not that important to him. If you're not that important to him, he's an idiot. Date a smarter guy, Flow.
Now i get it... The couples would be having some drastically changing relationship statuses on Facebook... XD
What is happening in this poem is:
The girl is dating this guy and her dreams are flooded with the memories of what he does every night, which is to break up with her. Then they make up the next day but the next night they break up again.
It was a good piece but i could not much get what was going on there....
Can you please elaborate??
Good use of words and nice imagery....
Keep up the good work...
i liked it! it had powerful emotions and nice imagery and makes the reader use their imagination and really gets them thinking
^that was my favourite part
but i think apology only has one p
good work