The solitary road before me
is scattered with fragments
of broken glass.
No feet dare to cross
this almost forgotten road,
for fear of the pain
the shards can inflict.
A closer glance at the road
reveals an old, dusk covered sign.
Letters were carelessly scrawled
in the old rotting wood.
Tracing each letter delicately,
I began to read them.
The sign declared that this was
"The Road Less Traveled."
Pondering this briefly
it began to make sense,
who would want to walk
through a road filled with glass?
The pieces that littered the road
once again gained my attention.
I picked up the piece
and turned it in my fingers.
I suddenly realized
this was no piece of glass I held.
It was part of a broken heart,
many broken hearts.
I dropped the shard
and looked back at the sign.
New words appeared, as if by magic,
in neat, legible script.
It said, "The road less traveled
is very narrow.
Many will seek it's direction,
but few will complete the journey."
I turned back to the road,
only vaguely realizing my steps
in the direction ahead of me.
Hearing the clanking beneath my feet
I began to think.
Soon I will add to the shards
that decorate the road ahead.
The journey will be long
but I will finish.
I will travel to the end of,
The Road Less Traveled.
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I enjoyed this poem. I think it flowed pretty well, and I could understand it. I like the determination the person has about finishing the road, even if their heart is broken. I also like the imagery. So keep writing!
I agree with Abby and the other reviewer, one might (as I did), see the title and misguided, think that this is in fact the Robert Frost poem. Maybe you should change the title to have something to do with the shards of glass or the broken hearts.
Also, the poem is kind of blunt at times, and often I felt as if you were speaking sentences. Maybe you should work on the imagery. Keep on writing,
~Lindsay
"Friendship is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." -Muhammad Ali
Yes, Flower~Child, I agree with Suzanne about it being a line from Rober Frost's poem. You should probably change the title, to avoid accusations of plagiarism.
Hey there!
Well the first thing I noticed was the title, of course. I noticed it because it's easily a line plucked right our of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken". I can't, however, tell if you meant for this to happen or not. I don't see this as allusion to Frost's poem. Simply - you used the line. But I think for that fact, you should change the line you used (and the title). I'm sure it won't be just me that goes looking for an allusion, only to be left a bit confused.
I did find your poem interesting - a road filled with glass, no, not glass, broken hearts. I'm left thinking of the Blondie song, Heart of Glass, and imagining some dark road with shiny shards all over. However, I felt like some of your language was too to-the-point and not descriptive enough, I believe is what I'm trying to say. For example:
Though this statement is accurate for the poem you are writing, I feel like it's too bland. There's no life in it, at all. Broken hearts and love being the center of the poem, this should be the turning point for the narrator and the reader. We should realize just how dangerous this road is, be shocked, horrified, perhaps even curious as to how all these hearts did break on this road. But instead, your description was flat. I feel like you should pump some life into it, and the entire poem.
I also found the title and the final meaning of the poem to be inaccurate. Essentially, you're saying that the road of love (strewn with broken hearts) is the road less traveled. But in all my experience, more often than not, everyone tries to travel the road of love. Everyone hops on that bandwagon, not just once, but multiple times throughout their life. Obviously the road is traveled by many even in your poem, otherwise, there wouldn't be such an abundance of broken hearts on it. In fact, rather than being the road less traveled, it's the road mostly traveled. I'd say the road less traveled is the road of chosen solitude, acceptance of being alone in the world and denying love. But, changing the meaning of your poem would kill everything. What you mean to say isn't that it's the road less traveled - but that it's the road less survived. No one comes to the finish line.
But then you've got to wonder, what is the finish line of love? Inevitably, love will end. Either you will die or the love will die. I'm not trying to just wax philosophical, I'm trying to get you to think about what kind of meaning you're trying to present with your poem and how best you can display it. I don't think, as it is, you've done it justice. It's a bit confusing and, as I said, inaccurate in the end.
I'd say just gather up your thoughts, your symbols, and your images and try to rearrange some things. ^^ You have wonderful intent in this - and execution can easily be repaired with a good edit. Best of luck!