Ok so I wrote this because I was thinking about that dude wrongly predicting the end of the world.
The food drifts up my nose
in the shape of
microscopic oxygen bubbles.
I sit silently
watching the world around me,
knowing that life as it is
won't go on.
I listen to the invisible clock
waiting for the minute hand
to stop
with all the people.
My eyes break away
from the window
to watch the many individuals
gorge on their depression.
I fix my gaze
to hold onto the outside world
still the same,
yet ever changing.
It might be nice
for the cycle to end
but I know that it won't.
The world didn't end today
maybe tomorrow,
or maybe not.
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139,642 Literary Works • 672,638 Reviews
I liked this
It was good to read but if you made it a bit longer that would have been awesome
Also, that guy's fail made me LOL my arse off
It means you smell the food. IT was meant to give you an idea of your surroundings.
When I first read about the food going up your nose, I got scared this poem was going to be off the wall, but all in all it wasnt bad, just seemed like it was hastily written. Id give it a solid 7/10. Keep Writing!
Cool poem.
I don't really understand the first stanza though - what's that all about? Also, the flow is a bit off.
But overall I like it, it's really cool and the last stanza is great. It captures the essence of the poem well.
Keep writing,
Alzora
Hey there, Flower~Child! Overall, I really enjoyed this piece! What stood out for me in particular though was this stanza:
"I listen to the invisible clock
waiting for the minute hand
to stop
with all the people."
I really like how you reflected time's end with the dying of all humanity, I just thought that was very interesting!
My only suggestion to you though would be to modify your conclusion; to me, it just seems like that stanza needs more development, for it was rather plain and abrupt.
Hope you don't take that too personally, though! Again, I really did like this, and by all means, keep writing!
Hey, just a quick line to say how much I enjoyed this poem. I like how've you've taken a lame prediction and used it to create a piece of writing. Keep up the good work, and I heard that the 'end of the world' guy has apologized and is predictingthe end to come in 5 months. He's some sort of evangelical preacher...go figure. Anyways, happy writing xx
Awesome. I heard about that guy, and I wonder what happened to his reputation when he was wrong not once, but twice...Anyway, loved it!
and
contradict each other. It was a little confusing. Did their opinion change after the day the world was supposed to end, or before, after they were thinking about it?
That's all I have for you. Great job!