He found Erson pacing around in a circle, stomping down some tall grass, just to the left of the path. He was leaning slightly inward zooming around and around. Buck watched him for a while, wondering if he'd noticed.
"Buttane!" Erson screamed eventually. "Are you just going to keep standing there?"
"No, no. Just didn't want to interrupt," Buck said. He nipped forward, springing up the bank and trying not to bump into Erson as he finally came to a stop.
His stance was broad, squarer than usual, as his arms were tensed and his shoulders hunched. If Buck didn't know Erson by now he'd be worried Erson was going to try and knock him out. But he didn't move. Didn't say anything, in fact.
"So... you heard what Ikilyn said?" Buck asked, searching Erson's reddening face.
"Of course I did! I was right there, wasn't I?" Erson snapped.
"I... okay... Ikilyn was being kind of rambly is all," Buck said. "Between all the sadness and such. He was realising what was going on as he said it."
"I don't need his sadness," Erson said through gritted teeth.
"Okay!" Buck exclaimed. He raised his hands and slowly pressed them forward in the air. "It's okay. Whatever you need."
"What I need," Erson muttered, "is for people to stop patting me on the head like a baby."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" Buck said. But then he stopped himself and cleared his throat. He spoke again with a deeper voice. "I mean... I apologise. I will stop apologising now. Would you like to keep pacing for a bit?"
"Frankly, yes, but I'm not going to. I want to shout, is what I want to do. At you, at Ikilyn..." Erson sighed. He met Buck's eye and pursed his lips, chewing on the bottom one. Then he dropped to the ground and sat in the grass.
Buck sat down in front of him. Erson's legs were neatly crossed in a basket, even as he pulled at strands of grass and groaned in distress. Buck sat on his knees so that he could lean forward easily if need be.
"Do you want to shout at Raddig too?" Buck asked, his voice quiet. He'd have rather talked at a more normal volume so Erson didn't feel babied but shepherds and cowherds were starting to filter back up to their farms and he assumed Erson wouldn't want their attention either.
"Don't," was all Erson said.
"Okay," Buck said. He decided just to shut up. There probably wasn't a way to plan himself out of this one.
They sat for a while with the breeze batting at them. Erson's hair whipped up into his mouth, but as far as Buck could tell he didn't notice. He just kept staring at a point in the air, somewhere above Buck's shoulder.
“If I get angry at him…” Erson tailed off. Buck considered prompting him but eventually he added. “It’s just too much. Too much of a waste… of everything.”
“I get that.”
“No you don’t.”
Buck paused. Did he? An image sprang into his mind of sitting curled up with his back against the cold courtyard wall, just after Pires had banished him from her sight. That had been altogether too much too. He didn’t say anything though, because that would have involved explaining his part in that awful night.
“For now, I’m angry at anyone who lowers their voice around me, or looks at me like I’m a confused child – ‘Oh, poor Erson, he wants to marry a man and his own mother hates him for it!’ I’m sick of that being all anybody ever thinks about me,” Erson muttered. He looked down at the ground, nostrils flaring, then started slamming his palm against the grass and dirt.
“I don’t think that!” Buck exclaimed, in lieu of grabbing his wrist and stopping him.
“No,” Erson said, “but you think ‘oh, poor Erson, he’s getting scammed by the only man he’s ever loved and the wool’s too far down over his eyes for him to see it! He’s being ripped off, swindled, taken advantage of but all he can see is the shine of his love and the freedom and-”
Now Buck did lean forward and put a hand on each of Erson’s shoulders. “Hey, hey. I don’t think that. I’m angry at Raddig, but only because I care about you.”
“You hardly know me,” Erson said. He made no move to shake off Buck’s hands though.
“I like what I know,” Buck said.
“You don’t hate me for… you know?”
“For being a pompous arse who can’t just let loose and dance? No, I think you know what you like and that’s important.” Buck grinned at him and could have sworn he saw the tiniest twitch of a smile at the corner of Erson’s lips. “Besides, then I would hate myself, eh.”
“You mean you…” Erson sat up straighter.
“It’s complicated,” Buck said, remembering his conversation with Hilene. “But yes, it could be the case that I one day marry a man. Well, I don’t know how I feel about getting married at all but that’s a whole other conversation.”
“And you could deal with all the talk?”
“Oh, not here. If I did get married I’d go to Resador,” Buck said.
Now Erson was really paying attention. His eyes shot open as he said, “You’ve been to Resador?”
“Uh… yes,” Buck said. Oops. “But I got there a while before you got there.” Okay, that worked. Not strictly a lie. “I knew a guy called Misene who was about to adopt a baby with his husband. It’s not really something I thought of as a big deal after a while of living there.” Still not a lie, even if the ‘while’ had been most of his life.
“Give me a moment,” Erson said, moving Buck’s hands from his shoulders. He put his right index finger to his lips and tapped it, clearly thinking something over. Buck’s thoughts were also racing. Maybe this was an angle to get Erson back down to Resador… he could turn to Pires even just as a friend. But the thought of suggesting such a thing seemed miles away. He couldn’t get the words even close to his lips.
But then Erson said, “I could go back to Resador.”
What, was Erson a mind reader today?
“You could,” Buck said.
“And marry Pires.”
Buck fell back onto his haunches. “Say what now?”
“I mean, if the offer is still on the table,” Erson said, shrugging.
“Okay,” Buck said, running his hands through his hair. “But you want to go all the way to Resador… to marry a woman?”
“Well, ideally I’d like to marry a man someday,” Erson said. “Up here if possible.”
Buck frowned. He thought he might be picking up on the idea but Erson was so matter-of-fact he lay down no hints at all.
“I want things to be different. To do that I need to be king one day. To not get disinherited, I need to get married, and soon,” Erson explained. His eyes had got all narrow and focused.
“I mean…” Buck said, rubbing the back of his neck. “That’s a terrific long-con scheme. I wish I’d come up with it.”
“What? Why would you have come up with it?” Erson’s head turned sharply towards him as he frowned.
“Not important,” Buck said, waving the question away. “I’d like to help if I can.”
“You could come with me,” Erson said. “Help me get settled down there since you know the area? Just… I’m being proactive, okay? You can see that? So there shall be absolutely no patting me on the head.”
“You’re like a foot taller than me.”
“Buttane.”
Buck laughed. “Yes, I promise. You have a plan; we’ll put it into action.”
Buck smiled. This was going to work. It was going to be okay. He was going to get back his home and his job and maybe even his father. And his conscience wasn’t even screaming at him for it.
End of chapter
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137,563 Literary Works • 672,044 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)
And now we approach the end of chapter 11
First Impression: Looks like Erson inadvertently thought of the same plan as Buck. Erson seems to rush through his emotions a little but its only a very slight thing. Also a very interesting angle with how he does not want to be babied.
And lets get to it,
One thing to note though. I didn't notice much evidence of this sort of thing going on until Ikilyn did it. So him saying that everyone is doing it seems a bit out of the blue here.
This is a nice little touch here to give a nod to that earlier part. I felt like this wasn't mentioned enough throughout the book so it is good to see it here.
While I can totally see how this must be the case I feel that a few references to this in the earlier chapters would go a long way to make this whole scene more effective in conveying this side of Erson.
This part and the rest is all some really great dialogue. Feels very natural.
Looks like things might get better for Buck finally.
And he is right back to good old fashioned scheming. Great ending to this chapter.
And that is it for this one.
Overall: This chapter does a great job of conveying the emotions though as I said earlier a few more references to the aforementioned pats on the head would make this chapter even better.
As always take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
There is SO MUCH I LOVE ABOUT THIS. I hope I remember to say all the things 'cause I am SO EXCITED AHHHHHH.
For one, I love that Buck's personality shines through this conversation and that Erson is letting Buck ease the tension. It's such a beautiful moment and we REALLY see a glimpse into what their relationship could really blossom into. It's just so wonderful and makes me so happy and I totally laughed at all of Buck's jokes, not even lying.
It's also really incredible how easy it is for Buck to ease Erson's tension, too. Erson always seemed stiff earlier in the novel, like it was really hard to please him at all. And while being at home is already a relief for Erson, Buck also seems to have an affect on Erson's emotions as well. It's just so beautiful. //happycry
It was amazing watching Erson come up with this plan throughout the conversation. We get a really good look into Erson's head and what his plans for the future are. I'm honestly amazed that he can think through the heartbreak, too. He really didn't let it get to him, or at least he's skilled in putting his emotions aside for the sake of duty.
And getting a gimpse into his personal goals... like, why WOULDN'T I cheer for this guy?! He absolutely has a vision that I would love to see him obtain. He needs the throne to make the changes for a better world.
Buck worried me so much here. He had like two or three blunders during his conversation that Erson could have easily poked at until everything went wrong for Buck, but he didn't! Erson let it all slide (for now). He also slipped Misene's name, and I worry that little detail will stick with Erson for later. And so when Erson inevitably finds out Buck and Buttane are the same people... gosh, Erson is just really clever. He's going to piece it all together eventually and it's gonna hurt Buck so much. D:
It did occur to me how during this conversation, Erson's emotions still seem really real to me. Because not only is he angry and sad and betrayed and lonely -- he's also annoyed how people walk on eggshells around him. When you're in that mental state, these little things really stand out to you as glaring blemishes, so I think the way the conversation veered into that felt super real. I definitely don't want Erson's current mental state to be forgotten, but I already touched on this earlier how he was able to put aside his emotions to come up with this plan with Buck. I would have wanted to be left alone for a time, but Erson seems very familiar with putting his own emotions aside for duty.
It's also really interesting that Erson views Buck as a friend so soon -- a friend that he'd welcome on his journey to Resador. It's really telling, I think, how Erson welcomes his friendship. He seems like he doesn't HAVE many friends, so Buck is incredibly valuable to him already.
I'M EXCITED FOR MORE TBH <3 I'm so glad I'm back to reading this!!
ahhhhhhhhh i'm so glad! I think I will give Erson a moment to himself at some point in the next chapter when they're getting ready to go. Buck's got some Hilene interactions that will hopefully have impacted now that he's ignored him for a chapter and a half. So I could start that chapter with Buck going to talk to Erson, Erson needing a moment, then Buck going home to pack instead. I still can't decide who's all coming with. I know one person who is staying here... but for the life of me I cannot decide if Myal is coming down south. She'd want to, right? She wouldn't want her brother to go away without her again. Or maybe she's settled at her own court now and it could be a little growth moment for her to let him go idk
I think that's one way to put it, that he's putting his emotions aside, but the motivation I was going for was that he didn't want people babying him, so he was going to make matters into his own hands and do something about it. Does that make sense? It's what the "I'm being proactive so there'll be no patting me on the head comment" was about.
Thank you for the review! <3
oh btw your review posted twice just so you know
Is it less just "babying him" and more like society has watched him grow up and yet still see him as the little child prince from 15, 20 years ago? (It's okay if Erson sees it as "babying"! Just getting a grasp as to what's going on.
)
I think that's an issue easy to relate to and especially someone at Erson's age who still lives under the influence of his mother -- and can't ever really escape it except through traditional matrimonial means. So then this WOULD mean that Erson has a lot of pent-up frustration revolving around this issue. It's still interesting though that he quickly latches on to this issue and doesn't dwell on the heartbreak for very long.
It feels like Myal would definitely want to go with Erson. I imagine she'd have wanted to go to Resador with him as well, and there was some reason she had to stay behind. So unless there's a reason she has to stay behind this time, I think Erson would welcome her companionship. Especially now when his emotions are running wild with heartbreak and fury and frustration and depression and loneliness. Additionally, even if Erson insisted she stay behind, Myal might push to come with because of Erson's emotional vulnerability right now and would want to support him. They seem really close and would want to support each other, as long as their duties allow for travel to Resador!
yeah it's sort of like... everyone's always watching him, feeling sad for him, but he doesn't want to seem like a victim. he's especially embarrassed to have been... fooled (can you see where this is going). you're basically dead on, that everyone's always loved him so they still see him as that little kid they loved. can try and elaborate on why he's so concerned with that. i basically wanted to establish here that that's what his issue is, so as long as that's clear i can build on that
yeah that makes sense... will give me more shenanigans to get up to down in Resador as well. she can appoint Holyon and Loilyn the singer to look after the court up here or something
I think this is my last one for this review day, so glad I've made it up to the end of what you've posted, I'll endeavour to go back through the rest as I'm keen to understand more about these characters.
I'd remove the section about not wanting Erson to be babied as it seems a little forced. So maybe like this:
"Do you want to shout at Raddig too?" Buck asked, his voice quiet, so the shepherds and cowherds who were starting to filter back up to their farms wouldn't notice them.
The rest of this chapter was good for me, but I can't hep but feel that Erson has made this decision rather quickly. I don't know what his relationship with Raddig was like, but if he really was in love with him wouldn't he be more likely to argue with Buck? People often refuse to see the bad in people they love, and as such I feel like he'd be more resistant?
Hope to see some more of this in the near future
Go Ravenclaw!
Icy
Hmm... I had intended to work that in... He disbelieves Buck at first and needs proof from Ikilyn and I was trying to put in here like him just being totally unable to confront it and then it all coming out at once. will have a look to see how I can get this across better - thanks for noting it that's super helpful!
Hi @ExOmelas I am here to do a review on your work here, I sure this in the green room and I thought it needed a bit of a push, so lets see if I can give ya that. I just want to tell so this chapter makes a little more sens I went back on the chapter before this and read it to get a better i dear.
As always I think that you started this chapter of really well, also may I just say that your description is starting to in prove a lot as you carry on writing, and from already reading a little bit of chapters I'm already liking the sound of Erson and Buck. also this names pretty cool to, also when you started this book I think I said that I was going to read it all threw but that has back fired on me. So my apologies for that,
I did not see any problems with this chapter, I can really see that you have something cool planed out for this story, I kind of liked the tench en between Erson and Buck it was kind of cool.
also just a little thing that you mite want to keep in mind, Erson can also be almost the same as the name Harrison, I just wanted to say that in case you did not no that already.
Okay readying over this line and decided that it mite need some fixing, It was just the last bit from so to all, I found that the line did not exactly flow very well with each other, maybe I will try to help you with this in suggestions.
Suggestions
He thought he might be picking up on the idea but Erson was laying down no hints at all.
okay the changed bit hear is in bold so you can see I hope you like this if not that is totally fine.
So that is all that I can say about this, I loved reading it, your a really good writer, If I was being to harsh or anything along thoughs lines I'm really sorry about it, because I did not mean to, and a no that reading all this takes up a lot of your time.
I hope you have a great Day
@Dossereana Out In The Sky Of Reviews