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Young Writers Society



A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 5.2

by ExOmelas


"Alright, alright. Just don't use it in your act," Pires said, raising her hands in surrender. "But anyways, if we have an agreement, I shall have to return to the palace before any gossips notice my absence." Pires took Buck's right hand in both of hers. "I trust you, Bucket. I know this will work. Until then, goodbye."

She held Buck's gaze so strongly that Buck's intention to play it cool - maybe even icy - was rattled. "I'll be back soon. Very soon, yeah."

Pires nodded and released his hands. With a small, clipped wave, she took her leave, turning to walk back toward the rise with the path through it.

"Does she realise we're walking the same way as her?" Rydone asked after a while, turning to face Buck.

The tension in Buck's stomach burst out as laughter. "Probably not. Well, come on. I guess I better go pick up my bucket."

They walked together back into the city, passing the dusty grass and the guard spot that went vacant tonight because everyone had been at the banquet. Nobody ever attacked Resador city anyway, and very few travelling bards rolled up in the middle of the night.

Buck sighed as they passed the tavern he usually spent time with Rydone and Misene in.

"You know you'll find friends in any tavern you perform in," Rydone said, her eyes glancing between Buck and the lights that had begun to flicker behind the windows of the tavern. People often drifted off to various establishments around town after the end of a banquet.

Misene put out a hand silently around Buck's shoulders and pulled him in close as they walked along. His wide frame was always like a warm, quiet wall against Buck's side and had got him through many a bout of stage fright. Buck bowed his head in case anyone looked out the window and spotted him.

"Not if I have to be boring," Buck said to Rydone, leaning forward slightly to see her past Misene.

"Not boring, relaxed. Chill. Sober," Rydone said, her voice getting louder as she thought of each new adjective. "Any of those an improvement?"

"If you think I'm getting through this sober you got another thing coming," Buck said.

Misene chuckled as Rydone grinned and offered Buck an exaggerated shrug. They continued in silence for the rest of the short journey to Buck's treehouse. When they got there, Rydone and Misene stayed outside as Buck climbed inside to pack up his belongings.

He still had a suitcase from when he first travelled down with his parents, but it was of course much too small. Buck put his hand over his mouth and frowned for a moment, glancing at the bucket and wondering if that would do. He rooted through the pile of clothes under his raised bed, he found a black cloak he almost never used, and a blue one with ugly lime green spots that he'd only bought because a seven-year-old fan wanted to sell it to him. With some quick haphazard stitches that he could redo later, he soon had them sewn together to make a bag, which he shoved all of his other clothes into.

Then he looked at the bucket again. "Good evening, Simone. So, how do you feel about a trip?"

She squealed.

"Yeah, same. But it doesn't look like we've got a choice." Buck reached into the bag of clothes and pulled out the pale blue cloak he wore whenever he was planning on cheering anyone up. “Here you go,” he said to Simone, picking her up for a moment so he could stuff it into the bucket beneath her. “If anyone comes up to us, hide in there okay?”

Simone squeaked quieter, and at a lower pitch.

“Thanks,” Buck said. He threw a few of her feeding pellets into the bag. Then he clutched the opening of the bag in one hand and scrunched it up, slinging the weight over his shoulder. “Yeah, I think that’ll work. Alright, time for us to get going.”

He ran his hand along the his bedding, wondering if the next time he went to sleep it would be in a lambskin lined sleeping bag beside the fire in a tavern somewhere. Not that he owned a lambskin sleeping bag, nor all that much money in the coin purse in his pocket. His pockets mostly contained sewing supplies, parchment and some emergency face paint.

“Look out below!” he called out the window as he dropped the bag of clothes down. He pushed the handle of the bucket up to the crook of his elbow as he gripped the rope and climbed down.

As he picked the bag back up, he noticed that Rydone was staring at the ground as her foot traced shapes in the grass. That meant she was anxious about something. Buck glanced at Misene, but he too was frowning, and had gone very still.

“Uh… folks?” Buck asked. “What’s going on?”

Rydone looked up and tapped her fingers loudly against her forehead. “Ah, Buck, we’re both really sorry but we can’t come with you.”

Buck started. “I… didn’t think you would… now that I think about it. But I hadn’t thought about it at all. I was so busy saying goodbye to the court, I guess.”

“Don’t get us wrong, buddy,” Misene said, his soft voice the oral equivalent of a hug. “But I’ve got Croline to think about, and we might be getting a kid-”

“Wait, what?” Rydone stopped fidgeting for a moment and looked round at him.

Misene smiled and rubbed the outside of his arm. “Yeah, one of the servers from Orsune’s is pregnant and she doesn’t have the money to feed a baby so…”

“That’s fantastic,” Buck said, with a slight twinge at the back of his throat. “You and him will make incredible parents.”

Misene nodded. “I hope so.”

“And my brother needs me too,” Rydone said after a moment.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Buck said, “Tell him he’s welcome to my face paint chest while I’m away. It’s back up in the tree house. Resador’s going to need livening up again once I’m gone.”

Rydone grinned. “He will love that. Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” Buck said. There was a moment of silence as they all glanced awkwardly between each other, then Buck rubbed his hands together and said, “Alright, well. I guess I better go then.”

“I can’t believe this,” Rydone said, stepping forward and wrapping him in a hug. Misene joined her, pressing the hug in tighter.

“We love you, mate,” Misene said.

Buck could barely speak, half from the knot in his stomach and half from the fact that his nose was squashed against Misene’s chest. He murmured that he loved them too, then had to step back in order to get a decent breath.

“I’ll see you soon.” Buck said, pursing his lips and trying to smile.

“Of course,” Rydone said. “Go match-make.”

Misene nodded. “We’ll be here.”

“Yeah.” Buck took a deep breath. “Okay, alright. I’m going. Goodbye.”

He turned and started the short walk back to the main gate. With every step he dragged his feet, bruising his toes on the cobbles through his thin slip-on shoes. He’d need some new shoes when he got up north. He was racking through his memories of his early childhood – which there were very few of before the move to Resador – when he reached the gate.

At either side of the gate stood a shadowy figure, one somewhat bigger and taller than the other. Buck frowned and jogged forward.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, recognising Victane’s bristly white moustache as he got level with the figures.

“Hi, Buck,” Victane said. “Pires forgot to give you this.”

Victane handed Buck a battered grey – but very heavy – coin purse.

Buck gasped. “Thank you! This should get me some new boots easy.”

“New boots?” Victane asked.

“Not important.” Buck waved it away. “I’m glad I get to say goodbye to you two as well.”

Victane looked round at Hilene, who stood on the other side of the gate, then back at Buck. “Actually, Pires decided to gift you some personal guards as well. Isn’t that right, Hilene?”

Hilene smiled slightly at Buck and nodded. “Well of course.”

The two guards flanked him as they walked away from the city towards the marketplace.

“Where are we going, Buck?” Victane asked after a while.

“I was just thinking about that actually, before I saw you two. I’m going somewhere that they don’t call me Buck,” Buck said, looking from Victane to Hilene and back. “My name is Buttane, and I am moving back in with my mother.”


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4125 Reviews


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Tue Jun 23, 2020 10:30 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And that's the end of chapter five,

First Impression: Lovely blend of emotional and funny. You've got some great humor that is just low key enough that it doesn't override the emotion and that is perfect. And it looks like we will be seeing more of these guards around which should allow their characters to get some proper development.

She held Buck's gaze so strongly that Buck's intention to play it cool - maybe even icy - was rattled. "I'll be back soon. Very soon, yeah."

Pires nodded and released his hands. With a small, clipped wave, she took her leave, turning to walk back toward the rise with the path through it.


Wonder how that reunion will turn out that is if it ever gets to happen.

Misene put out a hand silently around Buck's shoulders and pulled him in close as they walked along. His wide frame was always like a warm, quiet wall against Buck's side and had got him through many a bout of stage fright. Buck bowed his head in case anyone looked out the window and spotted him.


This is a really great depiction of the kind of friendship that they share.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Buck said, “Tell him he’s welcome to my face paint chest while I’m away. It’s back up in the tree house. Resador’s going to need livening up again once I’m gone.”


That was nice of him.

Buck could barely speak, half from the knot in his stomach and half from the fact that his nose was squashed against Misene’s chest. He murmured that he loved them too, then had to step back in order to get a decent breath.

“I’ll see you soon.” Buck said, pursing his lips and trying to smile.

“Of course,” Rydone said. “Go match-make.”

Misene nodded. “We’ll be here.”

“Yeah.” Buck took a deep breath. “Okay, alright. I’m going. Goodbye.”


This is great for parting dialogue. We feel some emotion this, I feel like we haven't been told of this friendship enough to feel a big loss because these two characters have not been that involved in the story but for the story time they get it is pretty good.

Victane looked round at Hilene, who stood on the other side of the gate, then back at Buck. “Actually, Pires decided to gift you some personal guards as well. Isn’t that right, Hilene?”

Hilene smiled slightly at Buck and nodded. “Well of course.”


That sounded a little suspicious like Hilene doesn't like the idea of leaving but okay.

“I was just thinking about that actually, before I saw you two. I’m going somewhere that they don’t call me Buck,” Buck said, looking from Victane to Hilene and back. “My name is Buttane, and I am moving back in with my mother.”


And that works pretty well as an ending to keep the readers hooked.

And that's it for this.

Overall: Pretty well written farewell scene. Its doesn't have a huge emotional impact but it works for this type of lighthearted story. And now we can look forward to some great adventures.

Felt like I didn't have much to point out here. I ended up just complimenting everything. It didn't have any mistakes that I could spot. It's a great chapter.

As always take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sat Mar 14, 2020 12:34 am
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Necromancer14 wrote a review...



Wowzers. How on Earth do you write so well!? Its amazing. You should publish something.

Anyway, here's my review:

This was a fascinating chapter. I mean, I haven't read all the ones that come before, but I still found it entertaining to read. I like the warmth and friendship you feel between the characters, it comes through really strongly. And of course, I like the humor.

"With a small, clipped wave"

The word "clipped" is a nice descriptive word, as it is not usually used to describe a hand wave, which is what makes it quite creative.

"and a blue one with ugly lime green spots that he'd only bought because a seven-year-old fan wanted to sell it to him"

lol. This was funny.

"“Uh… folks?” Buck asked. “What’s going on?”"

This seems to be a very pivotal part of the story, as it helps to suddenly shift the mood.

"and some emergency face paint."

This I was not expecting, and it was quite hilarious.

"Buck could barely speak, half from the knot in his stomach and half from the fact that his nose was squashed against Misene’s chest."

This was really funny as well. (I like comedy a lot, in case you didn't realize already.)

"“Yeah.” Buck took a deep breath. “Okay, alright. I’m going. Goodbye.”"

Non only did you convey the friendship part really well, you conveyed the sadness of them saying goodbye really well too, and you successfully kept it sad even with the bit of humor (nose squashed on chest XD) slipped in.

Anyway, I've said this like a billion times, but YOU ARE THE MASTER OF DIALOGUE. I don't know how you do it, but in everything of yours that I've read, the dialogue was very well executed and believable. Better than I could do.

Also, Congrats! You didn't make any grammar mistakes. (or if you did I missed it)

This was honestly one of the best Fool's Bucket chapters that I've read.

Well, that's my review! And the first one I've written in a while, too.




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Tue Dec 10, 2019 2:29 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



OHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT

Is it temporary? Is it a temporary move?!? IS IT PART OF HIS SHTICK? Or maybe he played us all and is actually going to his mother instead?!? BUCK WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?

There is so much I love about this segment, and I had faith that we would address these things still as it was only half a chapter before. We get more time with Rydone and Misene, and it was so sweet to see them all interact and show care for each other. And as a delicous bonus, we see their personalities shine as a trio.

Misene is so much more comfortable speaking when it's just the three of them, and we already learn so much about him from just his brief moment in the spotlight. He is so cute, and I love we get this glimpse into his private life. I even squealed IRL when I heard the news about him and his partner having a baby potentially and it was all just handled adorably and I love Misene so much.

In addition, we learn a little more how Buck depends on Misene, which is a really nice touch to understanding how their relationship works. Rydone is also just wonderful and made me smile here and I think she and Buck have such a lovely friendship, and the way she reacts to Misene's news as well is just wonderful. I think you've done really well developing Rydone as a person. I still feel like Buck is going to be okay without these two, and that's probably because we've seen Buck thrive so much more with Pires and think so much more about Pires with his position at court. But this segment was definitely a huge step into getting a good sense of the trio's relationship, and it made the good-bye so sad to read. I want to meet the baby. :(

I SQUEALED WITH DELIGHT when Victane said they were traveling with Buck. I was, like, bracing myself for a sad good-bye beacuse I just love Victane and Hilene so much. They have shown so much character and relationship in the few moments we've seen them, and I just adore them. I'm so happy they're going to be around more. The ending when they left felt kind of rushed, like suddenly we were on the road, but it's no big deal at this point. I'm just happy the guards are traveling him.

AND SIMONE. JUST. <3 <3 <3

Also, is it bad that I snorted when he said his name was Buttane? No wonder he goes by Bucket. ;_;

I'M STILL CURIOUS ABOUT BUCK'S PLAN THOUGH. Maybe he's stopping by? Maybe it's his first stop before joining Erson's court?? Maybe he secretly thinks Rydone is right and he should just move back with his mother??? I NEED TO KNOW.




ExOmelas says...


oooooops i should have made this clearer... his Mum moved back north when his dad was taken, as in to the region where Buck is headed. The commute from his mum's farm to Erson's palace is probably entirely doable and Buck figures he can't just show up and suddenly be part of the court. oops oops oops xD

Also, would you like to see some time on the road or would you rather just fast travel? Because sometimes when writers start describing journeys I get immediately bored but I think I could brainstorm and have some fun character/world/plot-building moments that could happen on the way.

Thanks for the review :D



JabberHut says...


Ohhh, that makes so much more sense! It wasn't clear where his mom was in relation to Erson's palace, so that does seem a bit more reasonable then if the commute is doable!

Oh man, I'm just like you. Travel sequences are difficult for me to write. I say if you want to use this opportunity to character build, that's perfectly fine. Otherwise, a solid summarized narration of their journey is probably just as good. You'd hate to drag something out that isn't necessary, but since this is your (presumably) first draft, I would absolutely encourage character or plot building here if you are so inclined. As long as it has purpose or relevance, I don't mind travel sequences at all. Don't force it, though, or you'll just get bored (or reveal too much too soon), and I want you to keep writing so I can find out what happens next. :D



ExOmelas says...


hmmm... well I do have the rest of the week to plan, so I'll see if I come up with anything I'm actively excited to write ^.^ oh heck this is actually exciting. i've had a lot of this planned out really specifically before I started so I've had like nothing to do during the week, so this means I actually get to do something creative for the next six days xD



JabberHut says...


YAAAAAAAAAAAAS GIMME GIMME GIMME *grabby hands*




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