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Young Writers Society



A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 10.1

by ExOmelas


A/N: The chapter arrangement is so weeeeeird. Like there's a timeskip part way through this .1? Ahhhh my LMS is showing!

---

Buck burst into the living room of his mother's cottage and was met with a loud groan and a bang. He blinked and looked down at the couch, where Victane was gradually pushing himself up into a sitting position and shrugging off a blanket. There were two glasses on the coffee table, as well as thick stone casks, plus a smattering of broken glass on the floor between the table and the couch.

Victane rubbed his temples and squinted up at Buck. "Hnng... Buck? What's the matter?" He rubbed his knee as he swivelled around to sit rather than lie. "Hit my leg against the table. Oh dear... I think I knocked last night's glass off the table."

He leant over and reached out towards the glass.

"Hey, hey, woah!" Buck said, surging forward and batting his hand away. "I was as hungover as you until about twenty minutes ago. Let me handle this."

"Thank you," Victane said, leahing back against the couch. "Wait... what happened twenty minutes ago?"

"So much. I don't even know. I need to think," Buck said, as he deposited the shards of glass back up on the coffee table.

"Think about what?" Victane asked. "Are you alright?"

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I need to go get my parchment from my room. I'll be right back," Buck said.

"Wait!" Victane called out as Buck started towards the stairs at the other side of the room.

"Huh?" Buck asked, whirling around.

"Hilene's up there," Victane explained. "We all had a pretty late night so he slept in your bed and I slept down here."

"Okay..." Buck said, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. He moved over to the little dining table and sat down there. "Had a late night doing what?"

"Oh, just chatting and drinking," Victane said, smiling slightly. "What about you? Did everything go okay with your royal supper?"

Buck nodded and told him all about his night, with Victane smiling at him as he talked. Soon Dorrea came through with some plates of bread and butter, and some cool, clear water for Victane. Eventually Hilene stumbled down the stairs as well, pressing his fingers into his eyelids. Buck chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder, then headed up to his room to retrieve his notes from his bucket.

Simone was sitting on top of some of his clothes in the bucket, munching on a lump of bread that Dorrea must have given her. She looked up at him as he reached his hand in to find his sheets of parchment, and Buck could have sworn she smiled, though it was always hard to tell with her little furry head.

He grabbed his parchment and scooted up onto his bed, leaning against the wall at the back. Hilene had tucked his blankets back in on both sides and carefully set his pillow in the centre. Buck smiled and found himself being a little more careful as he squeezed the pillow between his back and the wall. Not that there was much damage you could cause to a pillow, but he felt reluctant to spoil Hilene's handiwork, especially given how laborious that must have been while hungover.

Shifting the papers in his lap, he worked through what he knew and scribbled down some ideas for how to approach Raddig. The main thrust of the problem was that Raddig would deny having ever seen the bracelet. He was even much bigger than Buck, and could easily push him out the way if he just wanted him to shut up. It would have to be undeniable, clear as day.

Buck jumped as inspiration struck and almost fell out the bed. He was going to have to catch Raddig in the act, whenever he sold his next gift. Something in Buck was certain that he would. He couldn't have written down what exactly, but his gut was screaming at him. At least it wouldn't get out before Buck could unravel everything. He carefully slipped the necklace in its box under all his clothes and exhaled slowly.

---

Luckily, Buck found himself an integral part of the royal valley’s burgeoning court, and his friendship with the two young royals had been solidified by their supper. This meant he had plenty of opportunity to hang around Erson, keeping an eye on when he and Raddig seemed to be making plans.

He was walking along with Erson and Myal one day as they made their rounds of the pastures. They often did this, apparently, to check on how the livestock and agriculture was coming along, and see if there were any issues they could help to solve. The royal valley as a farming system had been honed over centuries, however, so in recent generations the royal circuits had mostly been social calls, maintaining a feeling of community even with the citizens so spread out.

It did not take long for the subject of Raddig to come up.

"You've been seeing him so much more than you used to," Myal said, tilting her head and grinning. "It's nice to see, but how come?"

Erson smiled. "He was nervous for a long time - would barely pluck up the courage to meet more than once a month. But lately he's seemed more eager to see me. Keeps bringing up my trip actually, wanting to know what Resador is like."

"Resador?" Myal asked. "What's so special about Resador?"

Buck kicked a small stone down the path and gestured towards it, glad when Myal chose to kick it again when she neared it. Perhaps a small game would keep her distracted from the topic of Erson's big trip to Resador.

"Not just Resador," Erson said, "Anything I've seen outside of the royal valley. I guess he's not been able to travel much, being a shepherd his whole life."

"He's a steward now, right?" Buck said.

"He is," Erson said, "Perhaps next time I go somewhere I can take a small retinue with me. Some courtiers, now that we have a court."

He nudged Myal, who smiled and linked her arm in his.

Buck took a deep breath, not entirely certain it was his place to ask his next question. They'd been walking along under the overcast sky for about half an hour now, and would have many to go. He didn't want to make things awkward. "So, when do you next see him?"

"Oh, tomorrow evening," Erson said. "We're going to get drunk at the court function you and Myal are putting on, then spend some time together at his farm."

Myal snorted. "Spend some time together, is it?"

Erson blushed and pursed his lips. "Yes. We just figured it was easier than the stress of meeting while the revels were being set up. Perhaps not get anyone's way this time, eh, Buttane?"

Buck stumbled, accidentally kicking the stone away off into the grass on his left. It skittered down the hill and landed with a plop in the stream.

"Er, yes, that might make the setting up process go somewhat smoother," he said. He scratched the back of his neck and hoped Erson would only think his embarrassment had been caused by the reminder of that awkward incident. In reality, he’d been picturing in his head the layout of Raddig’s farm, imagining where best to hide when he spied on their meeting the following night.


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Wed Jun 24, 2020 8:17 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And we move to chapter 10

First Impression: Buck has become pretty good friends with the royals. So I'm assuming Queen Merhen somehow just rolled with that. Also that is a going to be an awkward spying session.

"Thank you," Victane said, leahing back against the couch. "Wait... what happened twenty minutes ago?"


That should be leaning.

Buck nodded and told him all about his night, with Victane smiling at him as he talked. Soon Dorrea came through with some plates of bread and butter, and some cool, clear water for Victane. Eventually Hilene stumbled down the stairs as well, pressing his fingers into his eyelids. Buck chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder, then headed up to his room to retrieve his notes from his bucket.


Note to self: Do not ignore previous note to self and continue reviewing without having lunch.

Simone was sitting on top of some of his clothes in the bucket, munching on a lump of bread that Dorrea must have given her. She looked up at him as he reached his hand in to find his sheets of parchment, and Buck could have sworn she smiled, though it was always hard to tell with her little furry head.


So Hilene just somehow didn't notice Simone or does he already know about her. From what we've seen so far it seems like only his mum should know about Simone.

At least it wouldn't get out before Buck could unravel everything. He carefully slipped the necklace in its box under all his clothes and exhaled slowly.


I thought it was a bracelet. When did it transform into a necklace?

He was walking along with Erson and Myal one day as they made their rounds of the pastures. They often did this, apparently, to check on how the livestock and agriculture was coming along, and see if there were any issues they could help to solve. The royal valley as a farming system had been honed over centuries, however, so in recent generations the royal circuits had mostly been social calls, maintaining a feeling of community even with the citizens so spread out.


That's a nice little practice. These are some of the most likable royals I have read about in a while.

Erson smiled. "He was nervous for a long time - would barely pluck up the courage to meet more than once a month. But lately he's seemed more eager to see me. Keeps bringing up my trip actually, wanting to know what Resador is like."


That seems strange. I sense something afoot.

"He is," Erson said, "Perhaps next time I go somewhere I can take a small retinue with me. Some courtiers, now that we have a court."


So he just straight up went alone?

Myal snorted. "Spend some time together, is it?"


*coughs violently* Sorry about that.

"Er, yes, that might make the setting up process go somewhat smoother," he said. He scratched the back of his neck and hoped Erson would only think his embarrassment had been caused by the reminder of that awkward incident. In reality, he’d been picturing in his head the layout of Raddig’s farm, imagining where best to hide when he spied on their meeting the following night.


I feel sorry for Buck. The things he must do in the name of Pires' plot. Also won't the queen notice Erson missing.

An that's it for this.

Overall: Solid segment to set up a possible confrontation between Buck and Raddig. And good to see that Buck is finding a place in this court. Victane and Hilene seem to be in the background though. Are they still acting as guards? Are they helping on the farm? Do they just laze around all day?

As always take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sun Apr 26, 2020 10:22 pm
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Elinor wrote a review...



Hi ExOmelas!

Elinor back from Slytherin house to help knock this chapter out of the Green Room. Even though I missed like the first eight chapters of this, I found in reading this that I'm quickly getting invested in the story that you're telling and in Buck's journey. Like JabberHut, this felt very much like a transition chapter to me, and that's okay!

I'm curious about Buck's relationship with Erson and Myal and his relationship with Victaine (who I'm assuming is a sibling?). Like I said in the previous chapter, you're an incredible writer, and it was easy for me to get invested in your characters.

On a smaller note, this line stood out to me.

Luckily, Buck found himself an integral part of the royal valley’s burgeoning court, and his friendship with the two young royals had been solidified by their supper.


It felt a bit tell-y to me. How has Buck found himself as an integral part of the court? How was the friendship with the young royals solidified? I can see glossing over these parts if it was a short story, but you're writing a novel, so you definitely have time to get into it.

That's all from me for now! Hope this helps! Keep writing and slither on. :D

All the best,
Elinor

Image




ExOmelas says...


This is a fun sentence I get to say - Victane is a palace guard who came with him when he was "exiled" from Resador in order to spy on the prince, and who also may end up being his stepdad by the end of this :P

Hmmmm... I definitely see what you're saying, but it's sort of already happened, him finding himself a place a court? Like in the last few chapters. So it's more like, noting that that is the case, if that makes sense?

Thanks for the review :D



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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Ok I know I'm reading this backwards but I can't help clicking on these chapters when I see them in the Green Room... even if I should be sleeping! I'm going to try and forget I know what happens in subsequent chapters and give this one a review too!

Shifting the papers in his lap, he worked through what he knew and scribbled down some ideas for how to approach Raddig. The main thrust of the problem was that Raddig would deny having ever seen the bracelet. He was even much bigger than Buck, and could easily push him out the way if he just wanted him to shut up. It would have to be undeniable, clear as day.

Not sure if this is a specific character trait, but what possessed him to go and write things down? It's not the most complex problem to keep track of... could he not have thought it through in his head? This seems like trouble in the making, what if someone finds his notes?!?!

He couldn't have written down what exactly, but his gut was screaming at him.

This sentence seems out of place.

I love how hungover they all are in this chapter, but bless Hilene for making the bed anyway!

Erson blushed and pursed his lips. "Yes. We just figured it was easier than the stress of meeting while the revels were being set up. Perhaps not get anyone's way this time, eh, Buttane?"

I think this should be 'not get in anyone's way'.

I really like Erson here, he seems so normal! I can't help but want to scream at him though... RADDIG IS A LIAR AND BUCK IS THE BEST.

Haha, can't wait to read more of this!

Icy




ExOmelas says...


Ah yeah it's a very specific thing. Back in Resador Buck's thing was that he schemed with the Duchess with very detailed plans to bring about their political aims, using his diplomatic immunity as Court Fool to do it (ah, ignore him, he is but a fool!). So he's in the habit of doing that in case this needs to contribute to something larger :)

yes, Hilene is the sweetest boy <3

Thanks again! that's so flattering aha! :D



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JabberHut wrote a review...



I knew I was forgetting something last week! For some reason I was just like... maybe it's not posted yet.

but it's fine, you had it all under control.

I can totally tell this was a sort of transition chapter, trying to get Buck into a position to chat with Erson/Myal and set up the next incoming event. That said, it's totally necessary to get him there so I mean. WE'RE ACCOMPLISHING THAT MUCH! And that is a good thing!

It made me giggle to find out everyone is just so hungover right now. Poor Victane is just so off kilter hahahaha. I actually hadn't thought about it 'til I read this part that they didn't have places to sleep in Dorrea's home, so they did have to improvise sleeping arrangements. That consistency was good on your part and pleased me greatly!

On a personal level, it always disturbs me when someone else sleeps in my bed, like now I have to clean the sheets or something idk. But I feel like Buck does not care about that like I do. XD

I was kinda sad we didn't even see Dorrea though. I feel like even seeing him rush out the door with a quick "bye mom" would be enough to push the "straying from family" conflict he'll be facing.

Understandably, however, he did need his parchment to help straighten his thoughts out, and I once again love this consistency in his character. He seems like the kind of guy that would always have his journal with him, but perhaps because he can't carry his bucket, he isn't sure how to make that happen yet.

ALSO SIMONE IS HERE HELLO DARLING <3 I think it's adorable that Dorrea cares about Simone too. She must get terribly lonely and bored sitting in a bucket all day.

Seeing Erson and Myal in such a setting is really adorable and I love this. Their relationship is so cute, and I'm so glad they're not the type of royal siblings that bicker a lot. They really seem to be close, in fact, and the support they give each other is just beautiful. It really shows in just this small snippet of conversation here. Myal really cares about Erson and his feelings, it seems, and Erson seems really appreciative of Myal's efforts in establishing a court for him. It's just wonderful.

Also, he's amazingly blunt/honest. "Oh, we're going to get drunk--" XD It seems so un-royal. It's one of those moments that's like, even the prince is a human who wants to drink and have fun winkyface.

Though omg what is Buck going to do about it. He has suspicions now after the last segment, and Raddig is on his radar. ...IS HE REALLY GOING TO SPY ON THEM ?? That sounds dreadfully awkward for some reason omg. and I love that Buck is blushing about the idea as well omgggg.




ExOmelas says...


Ohhhhhhhh Dorrea I knew I was forgetting someone! There was a quote I memorised for English Lit once from a novel by Henry James about how the difficulty with having a lot of characters is that you have to bring each one up to meet the others and I think about this whenever this happens. Poor Dorrea, I'll give you a line in the redraft.

I came sooo close to the next chapter also being cut up and transition-y like this but just managed to get myself to sacrifice fun plot stuff for smoothness of reading, which I think is what I prioritise after a chapter like this. If you're curious I'll explain after why I think it wouldn't quite have worked plot-wise either xD

Thanks for the review :D




There was nothing he enjoyed more than a good book. He'd wander into the study, take down some leather-bound volume, and eat it.
— Terence Brady (dog owner)